Who Knew I Was Betty Fucking Crocker

Who Knew I Was Betty Fucking Crocker? Pretty much any man who has ever lived with me. I know seeing me in my natural habitat these days with my broken stove and my empty fridge and shelves its hard to see that girl who turned down the scholarship to the culinary institute in lieu of art school. I cooked for years, elaborate fancy meals. It was creative, soothing and fun. I’m not sure when my love of cooking became the chore of cooking, 2 years ago i think…. now i never cook. I have put down my pots and pans and wooden spoons and i order take out, a lot of take out.

The food fairy delivers me scrumptious meals consisting of pad Thai or sushi. The pizza guy knows my and my dogs name, the local Italian place delivery guy sees me so much he mailed me a Xmas card and i have found 2, count them 2 Indian places that will deliver to me Tika Masala on a Sat night. Who needs a functional stove! besides i don’t wanna bother my land baron with petty issues like my broken stove, she might realize she hasn’t raised my rent in two years if i start demanding stuff.

I keep thinking about cooking though … maybe in the new year i will cook again, or maybe i just continue to watch cooking shows on TV and think of cooking as a way to express my creative energy and not actually put it into practice. Why do when you can think 😉

oh and i love coffee cake. when i go to Starbuck’s and get a tall mocha i usually get the fat free coffee cake. Trust me its better then the one with all the fat. I don’t know what they replace the fat with maybe little pieces of spun gold. What ever it is its tasty! Because i cant stop thinking about cooking, here’s a simple coffee cake recipe. Its good, make it for someone you love.

INGREDIENTS:
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup white sugar
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 cup butter, melted
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
3 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1 egg
1 cup milk
1/4 cup confectioners’ sugar

DIRECTIONS:
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F and Lightly grease and flour a 9×5 inch baking pan.
2. In a large bowl, combine brown sugar, white sugar and flour. Stir in melted butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Add vanilla extract. Mix in baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon and ginger. Reserve 1/4 cup this mixture to be used as topping.
3. In a separate bowl, beat together egg and milk; stir slowly into flour mixture. Pour batter into prepared pan. Sprinkle batter with reserved topping.
4. Bake in preheated oven for 20 to 30 minutes, until a toothpick inserted into center of the cake comes out clean. Sprinkle with powdered sugar and serve warm.

Those that know me well know that i usually give out recipes that have booze in them but it’s hard to come up with a booze soaked coffee cake on Xmas morning off the top of your head, so you will have to eat it with a Baileys infused Cafe Latte or 3

Bon Appetite

2 thoughts on “Who Knew I Was Betty Fucking Crocker

  • msSmunro

    Im on the list too. Inner city living with a kitchen so small even boiling an egg can get chaotic just isnt worth it.

    When I moved in here I bought a 6 seater dining table intending to become an Entertaining Guru. Hasnt happened. Look forward to it for another day but still doubt ill ever cook just for myself. Have long since given up trying to talk myself into it.

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