I need to get laid. I need to get pounded, screwed, have my brains fucked out. Fucked 12 ways to Sunday, up one side and down the other, until I’m exhausted and bruised. I’m not talking about client sex. Where my focus is on someone else’s needs, desires and wants. I’m talking about greedy, all about me, fuck me until i cant walk sex.

Since the man in my life and i are not exactly on the same page these days, it’s been a while since i gotten laid MY way. When we are on the same page, he can whisper in my ear and I’m on the edge begging for him to push me over. When were not on the same page, were not around each other much so our intimate time is scarce, fleeting and I’m left longing, cranky and feeling unloved.

It’s true i equate sex to love most of the time. I know better but i cant help it. I suppose “my past” is responsible for that. Maybe i feel so in need right now because i hunted down my past and have been having to my surprise, quite a pleasant email conversation with him for the last few days. It’s left me confused, sad and strangely hopeful. I’m quite certain my ability to be a escort are rooted in that first adult relationship, i had with “my past”.

So my solution… work. keep my mind off my animal drive to have greedy all about me sex. To distract my body with my brain. I have 4 photo-shoots to finish by Monday of next week. So i do have my work cut out for me. That much work in such a short time should be keeping my mind off my pussy and off my past and on my goal, But its not.

I can’t help it… i just cant help it.

If you’re bored at night and going a little stir crazy, do not go digging around for your past if you’re not prepared to face it.

I’ll have to remember that for next time.

Heath Ledger is dead, he was only 28. He was a nice guy. I met him several times in my civvie life and he never once star tripped. He was always nice to the people around him and on several occasions that included me.

He was a good actor into taking creative risks. I’m totally bummed out right now and feel really sad for his little girl. thats one thing that this world doesn’t need anymore of… fatherless little girls.

You can read the whole story here

Stop your god damned bitching about giving out references to other escorts. I see that happening a lot lately and I’m sad to say its always a provider who’s been in the the biz for few short months, who think shes knows it all, seen it all, and is the only one being asked to hand out references for Clients. We all can get a little miffed if a client is constantly using only us as a reference, i can understand that. I have a client who i saw one time who uses me as a reference on a weekly basis. If I’m having a bad day, then yeah i can get a touch annoyed. I know he’s seeing other girls because i have referenced him for them but he only uses me when seeking appointments with new ladies.

Then i thought about that for a second. I am a well know escort, i have a solid reputation and i can be verified though many boards as a legit escort. OF COURSE he’s going to use my reference, my references makes other girls feel comfortable because it carries a little weight with it.

Its really an honor, not the annoyance i once saw it as.

In this business screening is EVERYTHING. I need to know I’m seeing a safe and sane gent who’s not going to slap on me a pair of steel bracelets when i walk though the door. It’s not only a professional courtesy to give a reference to another lady to let her know a gent is safe to see, its good business. I also need to ask for references. You give what you get in the life… and especially in this business. So stop your complaining like you’re the only bitch in town who spends a few minutes a day doing her part to make another sex worker feel safe. Because you’re not, your just the latest to whine about it.