I am not a porn star, not even close. I have never had sex on film for money, not once. Granted i did bust out the video camera once with a guy i was dating and filmed a little blow job, once upon a time but it was only for our personal use and i still have the tape (its stuck in the broken camera!) and well come on who hasn’t done that! I’ve been accused of being a porn star more often then i think is warranted. Its true that i make fetish videos and that in these videos i sometimes show off my amazing all natural milky white boobs. I also have numerous nudie pictures of me floating around the tubes. But that doesn’t make me a porn star. I started making the fetish videos just this last fall in late 2010, just a little FYI. The first time i was called a porn star was by a childhood friend at a school reunion. I explained to her that i wasn’t one. At that time in my life i had a small fetish members website where i basically did some weird naked performance art type stuff and it was all stories and stills, soft core stuff and at the most all R-rated in nature. She then told pretty much anyone who would listen, that i was in fact a porn star and well she decided that we couldn’t really be close anymore. It was very sad for me because i have known this women since i was 6 years old. This was all well before i even had a thought in my head about escorting.
The next time i was accused of being a porn star was by the ex girlfriend of a man i was very casually dating. Okay i was fucking him not really “dating” he was a hot tattooed love boy who was all about my ass. Go figure. This ex of his saw that we were connected on some social networking site and harangued him for fucking a porn star. Called me every name in the book, talked to anyone who would listen about what a diseased whore i was and spent a good portion of her time trying to ruin my reputation with people who knew me in a professional work capacity. I suppose she got the idea i was a porn star because i had a couple saucy pics from pro shoots on my social networking profile and lets face it i mouth off about sex and i always have… a lot. My photos at that time were far from pornographic but i assume that’s the source of her scorn of my “porn career”
I have been called a porn-star many times since those first couple situations which were both before i entered the sex for money trade and its always used as an insult as some way to hurt and shame me. It doesn’t hurt me though and it sure doesn’t shame me it does however annoy the fuck out of me because its inaccurate to call me that. It sure as hell isn’t going to make me feel bad about myself to accuse me of something I’m not and haven’t done. I have a lot of friend who work in that side of the business, who are in fact porn stars, ex porn-stars. I’m not ashamed of them, for them, or about them. Just as I’m not ashamed of what i have chosen to do with my body and my life.I know i live in a little bit of a liberal thinking bubble and that makes it easy for me to stand up and be proud of myself and my friends and and that if i lived in podunk where ever that it would be a harder stand. Id still do it but it would be harder, I’m very aware of that.
Now i once again have had to deal with the “pornstar” accusation as it has reared its ugly stupid inaccurate head. Why must people insist on attempting to shame those who chose a different path then they would take? I mean i don’t spend my time trying to shame you or hurt you because you decided to be an investment banker, a politician or a lawyer and god knows what i do and what porn stars do for a living is more honest and a lot less shady then those careers, a hell of a lot less shady.