Fairy Whore Mother

Let me wave my wand

I’m always starting new projects, its something I do to keep life interesting. I’m always cooking up some new idea, sometimes I give these ideas away to people I think would make a lot out of them sometimes I horde them all to myself (I have been called a digital hoarder) Recently though a series of quips and events the advent of a new collaborative blog aimed at giving no nonsense advice to sex workers or those thinking about being sex workers came to fruition. Savannah Darling a hot momma I have been acquainted with for a few years now (wow time moves fast) called me her “Fairy Whore Mother”  on twitter when she needed a little reassurance in regards to a client negotiation. I was so tickled to be called this that I bought the domain. I really didn’t know what I was going to do with it (Digital hoarder!) but I did buy it. Soon after the lovely Lauren Kiley came to visit me here in the other side of the world (so nice to see my friends from CA) and we came up with how to put the Fairy Whore Mother domain to use. There’s a need for real advice from real sex workers. Add all the anonymous blogs popping up offering advice (much of it questionable) to sex workers and we really though we might be on to something. We fleshed out the basics over a couple of pitchers of margaritas and Fairy Whore Mother was born. Savannah agreed to be a part of it and Lauren headed off to fetish-con where she enlisted the help of Whitney Morgan…score!

Yes, I’ve often given my thoughts on sex work here in this blog and i will continue to do so  but now you can get other smart, savvy, amazing sex workers (real ones with cred) opinions on good ways to work, good ways to stay safe, good ways to increase business, good ways to stay sane in an often insane niche of the world. Bookmark it, read it, comment on it, link it, help me get the word out. I promise it will be entertaining and informative.. it might even be useful.

Sex worker advice blog



o·ver·reach (vr-rch) v. o·ver·reached, o·ver·reach·ing, o·ver·reach·es

Human Trafficking

The rescue industry is trying to change trafficking laws again, this time in CA. There’s a very well detailed blog about prop 35 in CA on the Orange Juice Blog  which I read and commented on a while back and even if you’re not living in CA you might want to take a read and see how this very flawed legislation breaks down. I was born behind the Orange Curtain and only last year moved out of CA after living there my whole life so I still am very interested in the state and its politics but you don’t have to live in CA to be concerned. Legislation like this could come to a city and town near you. I was reading the other day about what looked like to me based on the facts presented in the article to be a driver, someone who drives escorts to their appointments and makes sure they get home safe, out in in Takoma park  being arrested for “human trafficking”    A Months long investigation over several counties and jurisdictions resulted in an arrest for human trafficking.  In CA currently if a driver gets busted its a chauffeur without a license ticket. Trafficking is being applied in all kinds of ways  people never expected and legislation is being written so that the new laws could easily be stretched and manipulated to cover all kinds of things besides actual real honest to good human trafficking. Yanno when you force someone into labor situations against their will. That’s what trafficking is and it actually happens in non sexual labor far more often but that doesn’t get the all the splashy headlines that the rescue industry uses to get more funding. Oh and if you don’t believe the rescue industry is an actual industry take a walk down to DuPont Circle in Washington DC and stand outside the Polaris Project’s headquarters. That’s some damn expensive real estate an they have the whole building. Yes, your anti trafficking dollars at work keeping their executives in pretty nice digs.

Being over broad, over reaching, disguising what really amounts to anti prostitution attitudes, ideals,  legislation and eventually arrests doesn’t help REAL victims of trafficking. it doesn’t make it harder to manipulate and force people into trafficking situations, it doesn’t provide services for those who are trafficked and it doesn’t punish people who pray and inflict damage on to other people by actually trafficking them. I personally believe it diminishes the real suffering of trafficked people by calling everyone involved int he sex business in all kinds of capacities traffickers or trafficked. Its too often used as just another tool to punish consenting adults who work in the sex business by choice.  It seems in some parts of the good ole’ USA Transporting consenting willing adults to and from a business appointment is now human trafficking. The word transport and traffic are one and the same and this kind of thing is only going to happen more and more.

Please do read the Orange Juice blogs break down of Prop 35 in CA its worth the time to read: http://www.orangejuiceblog.com/2012/07/i-despise-human-trafficking-but-i-oppose-the-badly-drafted-prop-35/

Risky Behavior

Yes, there will be hookers but will there be ballons?

I’ve written about hooker meet and greets  before, I’m sure this wont be the last time I write about them but let me say this loud and clear… Escort meet and greets are not safe! As further proof how these functions have taken a dive in the safety arena (they took a dive in the class arena long ago)  is the latest from New York Magazine “Johns Night Out” Where a reporter gains access to an “exclusive” meet and greet he heard about on the largest hooker review website out there, you know the one that boasts a bizillion reviews of escorts. A public notice was posted about the upcoming event and it appears the reporter asked for an invite and got one.

If a reporter can gain access then so can law enforcement. Busting meet and greets is happening more often then ever before. Yes, there was a time when meet an greets were safer then they are today. I have been to them, hell I’ve even thrown a couple way back in the day but times have changed and people need to understand that the risk of attending a meet and greet has increased 10 fold. Escorting is a risky business, its not legal and these parties might have had a purpose once upon a time but now reporters are going to them and writing about how that hooker was making out with a client/potential client (gross) and how hookers and johns excused themselves and left to go to locally bought hotel rooms to conduct business. That’s exactly how some people in the Midwest just got arrested after attending a meet and greet sponsored by a local Midwest board.

Is it really worth the risk?

This New York based meet and greet also cost money, according to the reporter 120 bucks a head with a count of about 75 men attending (ladies don’t pay at these events) Lets do the math, that comes to $9,000 but of course the host is only doing this out of some altruistic need to match make escorts and their potential clients not because he’s a hobbyist who’s once again trying very hard to get a piece of the financial action, no its out of the kindness of his heart.  He also seems to have no ability to screen potential guests as evidenced by the big, flashy, splashy article in New York Magazine. As escorts, screening is the very thin line that protects us from harm and arrest. Don’t give that task over to someone you don’t know, someone who doesn’t have the skills to keep you safe, someone who’s got motives other then safety. Don’t hand that very important safety element over to some hobbyist dude who is looking to make a buck off your attendance and likely is trying to up his profile with the other hobbyists in the virtual locker room that is hooker message boards. Meet and greets are not safe places to be. Yeah I know the old line thats thrown about over and over “they will generate more business” Yeah really? Will they generate enough business to overcome the cost of a lawyer if you are arrested? Will they generate enough income to overcome the stigma of having a permanent arrest record for prostitution? Are they worth the family problems you might encounter if your name is all over the Internet as a known prostitute? Will they generate enough income to make up for being splashed across the nations magazines or newspapers? Yes, this reporter only used user-names and did not publish pictures with his article, will the next reporter do the same? Would TMZ be so restrained? Hardly.

As escorts we take great care to minimize our risk in a very risky business. The writing is on the wall for escort meet and greets and its scrawled in thick bold black letters.