I write. True I also fuck for money but I write for money too. Since I started writing professionally I have run into my fair share of writers block. Though I do on occasion use prompts to help get my creative juices flowing, most of the time when blocked I look feverishly for inspiration where ever I can find it. When getting creatively blocked as an escort (yes being an escort has a creative slant to it, seriously it does) you can do a few things to get your mojo back. My favorite being the “fake it until you make it” response. It’s not so easy to fake it until you make it when you’re dealing with concept, story structure and word play. You cant close your eyes, put a sly smile on your face and mumble how fucking amazing that cock tastes in your mouth, then shut your mind off and let your body’s physical response take over. With writing you have to think. Its required to be present, unless you’re writing some 9th grade stream of conscious bullshit that’s really not creative at all but self indulgent crap-ola.
The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt
When I was in advertising I made inspiration boards. Huge white board that adorned my office walls littered with all kinds of scrap, as it was called in the trade. Bits and pieces of things I liked. Ads, designs, tag lines, pictures. Anything really, mine usually had an over abundance of naked people and religious icons. I would tack stuff on my boards and when I needed inspiration for whatever project or campaign was working on, I would melt into my boards and usually emerge with a spark of an idea I could then build upon and eventually take to my team for some real development. It’s not easy to be creative on demand. It’s a learned skill and there are tricks to the trade. Writing however is fairly new to me (well for money and on deadline) With writing you cant fall into your body and ask it for help, you cant rely on collected bits of images glued to a board.
You need to have something to say…
I’m slowly developing a bank of words, concepts, thoughts and ideas to go to for a creative jump start when I need one. One of my favorite go to places for creative inspiration is Willy Wonka. The book, the movie, the new movie. Inevitably I will wonder off on a whole Gene Wilder track. He’s always been one of my favorite actors/artists/funnymen/geniuses. That doesn’t always jump start my juices but at least I will be entertained while looking for the flow and not so frustrated and angry that I can’t write.
“We are the music makers,
And we are the dreamers of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers,
And sitting by desolate streams;—
World-losers and world-forsakers,
On whom the pale moon gleams:
Yet we are the movers and shakers
Of the world for ever, it seems.”
Though the first line is the most famous and used in the first Wonka movie, it’s from a poem called Ode written by Arthur O’Shaughnessy. The term “movers and shakers” was taken from this great little collection of words and O’Shaughnessy too, is a favorite of mine. I do dig me some dead Irish Poet.
So as I sit here unable to find a way inside, unable to dig up something interesting to say…I tell myself… then I suddenly remember….
I am the music maker and I am the dreamer of the dream.
One of the the things that is always trying for sex workers is where to get your photos taken and how to deal with a photographer. I see this issue from both sides of the fence and hence have some insight for those who need to have current and constant photos.
Some things to remember and keep in mind:
1. A photographer owns the photos they take of you, they can pretty much do whatever they want with them. In extreme cases they can even prevent you from using them if you didn’t get them to sign a license agreement.
It’s called intellectual property and it means at its basic concept that a artist owns the labor of their artistic work. Madonna never sued Penthouse for her nakey photos published without her consent. When a photographer retains a release it makes it easier for them to resell photos but thy don’t need a release to resell. It’s not required it just opens up the resell field to a wider audience.
If the photographer is using a photo they took of you for their own self promotion, are self published and or representing the photo as an artistic work and its not being used commercially you very likely could be shit outta luck with any recourse. Even a verbal agreement isn’t considered valid, It’s pretty much worth the paper you wrote it on.
I have all the latest gear
As sex workers we are concerned with identity and being discovered, many of us don’t show our faces and live double lives and that’s a real concern. Also you need constant an updated photos as an escort and that can not only be costly but be a source of stress. So what do you do? You can do a few things to protect yourself but knowing how the industry/photographers works it will help you make an informed decision.
1. Buy out
It can be expensive to buy out the rights but its an option. Music clients do this all the time, record labels have the cash and the inclination to buy out photos of their artists.
2. No resale agreement
Ask if your photographer will sign an agreement not to resell your photos. It doesn’t hurt to ask. If they do they will likely ask for a higher rate.
3. Don’t goof off in front of the camera. If you don’t use nude pictures of yourself on your site then don’t pose for nude photos in front of the camera. Don’t flash your vag because you think its funny if you don’t show vag pictures on your site- Photographers capture moments and that will be a moment someone will wanna get a snap of.
The best thing you can do is chose someone who’s professional and whose work you like. Ask them for a reference if you don’t personally know anyone who has shot with them. Ask them their resale policy, get to know how they do business and as you do when working as a sex worker…. go with your gut.
It works better then being a bitch
If after all that you find you have a situation, then I suggest this solution…get your flies with honey not vinegar.
Example1: I shot a couple of girls together for a stylized shoot with props. Awhile after the shoot i displayed one of the photos from the shoot i rather liked. A day after it went up one of the models informed me it wasn’t her favorite picture and asked her if i could swap it out with something she liked better. I asked her which photos she liked better, she was really sweet and I really wanted her to be happy. So I swapped out the photo to what she wanted and I did right away. Everyone was happy. Thats using honey.
Example2: I shot a girl several times, several years ago. We were friends. I did it for super cheap. Hundreds of dollars off my normal price because we were rather close. As the years went on we became not so close and now are as far from friends as two people could get. I was using one of her old photos (which I happen to think is a killer shot) as self promotion. I had been using it for almost 3 years from before the rift between us.
Recently this lady decided that she no longer wanted me to display the photograph. She sent me a nasty comment on a blog to that effect. She was all full of vinegar, no honey. My immediate reaction was “fuck her, I own the photo she cant even be civil so she can screw off” hey I’m being honest, that’s what i thought. If she had been more adult about the situation and sent me an regular email asking me to remove the photo and addressed the situation civilly, even though we had some bad blood it would have been no big deal to just remove it to make her happy.
Not a good choice
Thought process: Not a big deal, she asked nicely, don’t want to create anymore bad feeling = remove the photo.
That’s using honey, not vinegar to get a photographer to do something you want, that clearly they don’t have to do and you have no legal standing to get them to do. So be nice about it, ask nicely. If the goal is to get them to remove the photo then do what you need to do, to get them to do what you want. Photographers are not immune to flattery, to civility… hell ask them to do it as a personal favor, appeal the greater good. Whatever it takes. Odds are you will get what you want. No one wants to have an unhappy model, or a strained relationship, so make iteasy for them to make the choice you want them to make. Use the honey not the vinegar. It works.
That’s not what happened here, instead of honey she used vinegar and pissed me off by being a fucking bitch and ordering me around and threatening me on a blog comment.
Now eventually I did take the photo off display. Obviously it really mattered to her and not so much to me and contrary to her actions, I’m a reasonable adult and don’t need more problems with some woman that cant control her actions or emotions. Also it was on a long forgotten site that I hadn’t accessed since last year. If she had just sent a civil email she would have gotten what she wanted without all the drama.
eh … maybe the drama is what she wanted, who knows. But for those of you that DON’T like drama, tension and just want to do what you do with out all the excess bullshit, then maybe take some of what I said into consideration when picking someone to shoot you. Make an informed decision, pick wisely and if something happens you don’t like then be smart about how to correct it.
You can trust me... i'm a Hobbyist
oh and watch out for the “hobbyist with a camera” those dudes pass around your photos on private boards, (especially if you are a lady who doesn’t show her face in her photos) trying desperately to look cool to other guys… Hell sometimes I think that is their “real” hobby.
The Eros guide just raised their rates. For those not in the know The Eros Guide is the largest, oldest and most prominent escort advertising mall website. It has a long standing reputation for being the right site to advertise on if your looking to reach the right audience. Its also very expensive. I have been an Eros advertiser for a long time. I have placed ads not just in the escort section but I also placed ads in the photographer section as well. Those ads are never cheap. You need a “base” ad which is a basic ad price and gets you the basic listing. If you tour you need to place a “touring” ad which only nets you 2 weeks worth of advertising time and costs you just as much as an ad you placed your base city. Besides the cost of the basic ads there are add ons and up sell coming out your ass. They nickel and dime you to death. It’s kinda funny as escorts themselves who upsell and add on can easily get lambasted and a ruined reputation on any number of message boards and website but mall sites who cater to the same escorts consider the upsell and add on, standard operating procedure.
it is what it is. You want the ad, you pay the price.
Do it.. yourself!
Just this last year Eros changed a big way they did business, they are now self service. You build your own ad, you go online and build it. All they way down to the background color choice. This does several things.
1. Takes a lot of fucking time
2. Ads no longer look consistent within the site
3. Gives the advertiser more control over their ad
So you are still paying a big premium but you have now be given the responsibility to build your own ad. I would assume that many people at Eros who spent their day building ads have in turn lost their jobs. So Eros saves a lot of money, they have a smaller staff and have less work to do. However they didn’t lower their prices with his change, even though they asked their advertisers to do the work of building their own ads.
Next month Eros will be raising their prices on their base ads in many cities. Anywhere from 5 bucks to 25 bucks. Rates will increase. This pissed off a lot of escorts. Eros attempted control the message by stating they haven’t raised their rates in two years as the rational. I’ve already seen several escorts tweet that that in fact was not true that their ads have increased in price.
It don't grow on trees!
So now you can pay more and get less. Lucky you.
I did some quick calculations and in Los Angeles Eros makes 27,000 a month (on average) for their base ads. In LV another of Eros larger markets they make 50,000 a month (on average) on base ads alone. In NY its 96,000 a month (on average). When you put that all together its 2 million a year for only 3 of their markets with no add ons and upsells. That’s a pretty penny.
Now the dirty little secret is that Eros makes their real cash on the upsell and add on which can often double your ad prices. Want to be in top 10 for brunette escorts? That will cost you another 150 bucks a month. How about top placement in Asian? Another 100-150. Animated thumbnail, tack on another 50. How about featured category? another 100-500. If you would like to be listed in “whats new” which used to be a great place to be listed until they buried the lead in their stupid redesign a couple years back it, well that will cost you more bucks. They will even charge you to be put on a waiting list for a top placement. That’s right Eros upsells fucking everything!
So Eros decreased their value to the working escort but increased their prices. Thats the bottom line.
My calculations and research indicate The Eros Guide makes 8 to 10 million dollars year. That 8 to 10 million bucks a year off the backs of hard working escorts. They like sooo many other business that cater to escorts think we are giant cash cows with money falling out our ass. They also think we don’t have a lot of other advertising options and to some degree they are right. I still take out touring ads and up until this rate increase hullabaloo i was thinking it might be time this spring to take out a LA ad and track my ROI. However the market is changing and Eros would be wise to pay heed to that. Message boards bring me more potential clients then Eros ever did and their traffic and click-thru are down across the board and their SEO rankings are non existent in some cities. So way to go on increasing your rates when your service has decreased. If i tried to pull that crap, id be out of business in a heartbeat.
Pay more get less
I have nothing against the Eros Guide personally, in fact I rather like many of my contacts there and generally have had good dealings with them but this latest stunt…. outrageous. If your going to raise your rates in a bad economy where so many people are struggling and what you offer had decreased in value you better be prepared for the the backlash and the long memories of working escorts. I have heard talk of boycotts and decreasing ads to every other month from regular long time advertisers. When message boards, blogs, twitter and face book bring you more business then the Eros guide which you pay though the nose for and they in turn begin to take their advertisers for granted well its the beginning of the end …
I’m just sayin’
Editors Note: There is updated info about Eros. They reached out and are working to hard rectify any advertisers concerns. I wrote about it here https://jennydemilo.com/?p=660 Gotta say i do love me some real customer service and will have some further updates soon. Kudos Eros Guide!
We all know it happens, it’s talked about in hushed tones. We trade names on private boards and compare notes. Some of us have even seen it happen with our very own eyes. Well reviewed, well known, highly sought after escorts fucking their clients without a rubber, bareback, raw dick. It’s not as un-common as some like to pretend it is.
Ever been to a “hobby party” and see a well reviewed provider fuck a client in the middle of the room, look around and not see a wrapper in sight? I have. Ever work a double and have the well reviewed lady swear to you this is the only client she screws with out a condom? I have. Ever wonder why that lesbian escort who swear she never fucks men outside of work, has an IUD? I have.
It’s a dangerous practice and its going on a lot. I sort of understand the escorts take on the situation, she’s in it for the cash, the greenbacks, she’s on the hustle and looking to do anything she can to get the financial edge especially in this shrinking economy. I don’t approve but I do sort of understand where it comes from but the dudes? What kinda crazy death wish do you have to have to screw a hooker with out a rubber. I know, I know, shes “low volume” she only “does this with you” uh huh …sure. She told you she only sees a couple guys a week/month, So there’s no way shes really fucking 4-9 dudes a day. Because hookers never lie, right? Clients generally have wives and girlfriends, id say it’s the bulk of those seeking sex for money. Sure there’s the single guy but hes not as common a the married guy. So that married guy wants to fuck a hooker raw, then what? Take something back to his wife? Way to end up in divorce court Skippy, not to mention that it’s just evil to put your wife at that kind of risk. Cheating on her with a hooker inst enough, you want to put her health at risk too.
Are you alergic to banannas too?
There are well known hobbyist who pull the whole “but provider X will fuck me without a rubber, you should too” I know that’s often a line of bullshit, but I also know there are providers who DO fuck their clients without a rubber and those ladies are making MY job harder. Thanks bitchez. I really enjoy fending off some horny disrespectful fuck who has been trained to expect bareback sex by some money hungry, review manipulating, hose-beast who don’t give a fuck about herself, her body or her health.
There are also hobbyists who make no secret about how they are looking for that one provider for a long term arrangement with the intent of fucking her bareback, regularly. They don’t like the rubber, cant keep their dick hard with one, they are allergic to latex, or whatever their excuse de jour is. It’s just gross. Have some fucking self respect and wrap that shit up. Some of you whore mongers should double wrap that shit, I’ve seen where it’s been, you wrote a review about it, bragged on message boards about sticking your fingers, tongues and dicks in all kinds of nasty places.
Safer sex girls are hot girls!
Many girls get tested on a regular basis and there are lots of us responsible escorts who do what we can to minimize our risk, like no fucking without a rubber. We have relationships too and want to safeguard them, to keep our understanding partners health as safe as we possibly can but make no mistake about it, there is always a risk. I will suck your dick with out a rubber, that’s risky. I don’t take cum in my mouth to minimize my risk but there’s still a risk. I get tested regularly but that doesn’t mean I’m not engaging in a risky sexual practice. There are plenty of providers who wont suck your dick without a rubber, they are minimizing their risk and they are often rewarded with lower review scores and bullshit for making that choice.
So really what does all this raw dicking get us as a industry… in that special hand basket on the way to hell. Knock that shit off and no I didn’t name names but I reserve the right to if this bullshit doesn’t stop, it’s dangerous and you all know better.
It’s always a good day when I get to shoot pictures of hot girls in a porn house in the beautiful San Fernando Valley. Which is just what I did this last weekend. I picked up Audrey Trouble and Vanessa Monet and off we went to create Kodak moments. The idea was to get as much stuff done as we could before the music video shooting next showed up a few hours later. The record label people shooting after us actually showed up early an kept us company and by that i mean hung out while I shot naked and half naked hotties. Go figure.
It was a productive day and we got a lot of great photos. I shot the girls solo and I did a couple of sets of double shots with both the girls together, along with some ice cream cones… See, going to that ultra expensive art school really did pay off.