I recently went to Vegas for a long weekend with the Super Crush. It was a pure pleasure trip, no work… all fun. I was wined and dined in a story book fashion and Vegas in December is still my favorite time to visit.
My trip to Vegas in snapshots:
Shopping at Tiffanys
Tiffany’s is always one of my favorite places to shop, though admittedly its mostly window shopping. I still am drawn to those pretty blue boxes and all the elegant understated goodies within them.
Calvin Klein head to toe!
I bought a little Calvin Klein cocktail number to wear to dinner at Scott Conant’s Scarpetta and the brand spanking new Cosmopolitan Hotel and Casino. I thought it would look awesome crumpled up on the floor… and i was correct.
Hugo Boss and Calvin Klein get it on
People watching tucked away in the window of the Bond cocktail lounge at the Cosmopolitan Casino. Not only is this place amazingly beautiful but their speciality cocktails are just as yummy as the stellar service. Running my fishnet glad leg up those Hugo Boss slacks was just the icing on the cake.
Waiting for our table i got a chance to sit in the Library lounge which is exactly how you would want your own library to be decorated if you had a trust fund and mansion.Vintage leather bound books and Eames mismatched chairs. Just across the way is Jaleo, Jose Andres tapas restaurant. Ive been to the one in DC and umm yeah its amazing.
Million dollar table
The view from our table made me giddy. I’m not sure who they thought we were but they accidentally gave us the best table in the room. Amazing views, delicious food, excellent service.
Fuck me pumps
They need to explanation…
Skip to my loo
My favorite photo from Vegas. Yeah it doesn’t fit with my little documentation of the weekend but who doesn’t love a little bathroom humor!?
I’ve been escorting for years and been involved in the sex business in one for or another for even longer. It will effect how you see the world and how you do things. Some positive, some negative. The sum of my experiences makes me who i am, motives me and shapes my world view. Being an escort isn’t about your needs, your sexuality or you anything. Its a service industry job. you are there to serve another’s needs. I get approached all the time by young hopefuls as i like to call the. Many right after some big glossy pretty exciting hooker story breaks in the news. They want to be escorts because they think its glamorous, they want to control men with their sexual prowess, they want to explore their new found sexuality and get paid for fucking hot sexy men who they’d fuck anyways for free. Yeah, its not like that. Escorting isn’t about your needs, its about your clients needs. I try to tell those young hopefuls as much and often refuse to help guide them and mentor them. Instead preferring to direct them to their local hook up website where they can explore their sexuality and learn to exercise their new found pussy power. Preferring to do what i can to keep those that don’t get what escorting really is out of my backyard.
My life and experience as an escort also seems to find its way into my real life day to day world. For example yesterday. I had a meeting with a potential client about a freelance job. I had already spoken at length with this guy about his project and this was a simple chemistry check and i had to sign the non disclosure. He’s putting a team together and looking for the right mix. It was right up my alley, i was not just qualified but even over qualified though this project has potential to really skyrocket. I met with him over coffee to talk about what he was doing moving forward and how best what i do and how my skill set could fit in. Well that was the idea anyways.
What this meeting turned into was some entitled, self important, blow-hard talking about himself, repeating himself, not making clear points. This wasn’t a conversation, this guy wasn’t there to engage me and see if i was the right candidate to move his project forward and it reminded me of my escort life. This guy if he wasn’t a hobbyist sure was acting like one. In the beginning of the conversation i tried to interject with my skills bringing up previous projects i had worked on that would fit with his model. To no avail he was too busy name dropping and repeating himself to notice my presence. About 25 minutes in i gave up and went into escort mode, smiling, nodding, leaning in when he was speaking, acting interested and making him feel like he really had something special in this project. I as a prop there to service his needs. All this encounter needed was my tits on the table and an envelope stuffed with cash in my purse.
In retrospect i should have gotten up, thanked him for his time and been on my way about 15 minutes in when realized what was going on. But i didn’t. I don’t know why, maybe because my experience as an escort got in the way and i went into survival mode. Subconsciously maybe i didn’t think i had the right to walk away i was there so i had to see it though to the bitter end just like when youre in a none to stealler escort situation. compartmentalize, get though it, get out. The situation seemed all to familiar, only i wasn’t there to service him it was a business meeting and he wasn’t paying me for my time. I had every right to walk away and not feel guilty or bad about it or that he would trash me on a message board for my “unprofessional” behavior. But that didnt happen. I stayed, I saw it though until he dismissed me and declared the meeting over.
As i was driving home i thought about what had happened, how i so easily slipped into escort mode and didn’t assert myself, my skills, my abilities how i gave up in this meeting. I did myself a disservice yesterday i wont let that happen again.
A few years back a beautiful girl got in touch with me who had just started out escorting. I liked her, she has style and was cool. I gave her a few tidbits of my experience and helped her out when i could when she asked for advice.
Today i got an email from her, she’s moved on with her life and retired from the game. She’s doing amazing things in both her work life and her personal life. But the best part is, she said thanks. Not in a big way, just as an aside but it touched my cold bitter black heart. It’s a rarity when someone thanks you and means it. Especially in this self obsessed “what can you do for me” greedy escort world I find myself living in. I felt like a momma duck who’s baby duck had swam away on a journey to do amazing duck things.
People like her are the reason i continue to try to give back. Even when i get so frustrated and hurt with the users, and liars who are only out to get what they can.
There’s been a lot of over sharing the tubes. That doesn’t mean sharing, part of the fun of the Internet is sharing and connecting with like minded people. I’m talking about OVER sharing. Divulging every singe thought that pops into your head, every single detail of your life. Using the Internet for validation on your thought process and existence is a slippery slope. Especially if you are a sex worker. Take twitter for example. Sex workers use Twitter for various reasons, to connect with other women in the biz. Its really the best way to organise your own support system (I’ve written about that before) its also a way to market yourself, you can shape your own message. Be who you want to be, let your clients know who you are when your available when you’re not, you can advertise new clips, cam-show times, tour dates, anything really. Different people use it differently but there’s always the danger of over sharing and many people (not just sex workers) seem to be over sharing lately. Spewing the most intimate details of their lives, on an on going basis.
Think about it, would you stand on a public street corner and tell everyone walking by that about your vaginal discharge, or the details of a conversation with a man you just started dating and how hes backing off because you just are way to needy and emotionally damaged and he cant handle that. Or worse then that all in an adult themed twitter stream would you unload the personal details about your children’s emotional and medical problems and what their doctors told YOU. Now I’m very aware that sex workers etc have children and i don’t think that you should hide that fact. It humanizes us when people know sex workers have lives outside of work and aren’t all just prancing around in lingerie 24/7 waiting for hot action but to share with the world, private details about your children’s sensitive personal and private lives…. Are those really things the anonymous public need to know all the details of?
That is an easy example of over sharing. There are other example that are harder to determine. Your sex life, your emotional life with your spouse or significant other is harder to determine. Some time its good to share because the feedback you get is youre not alone and its a common issue others have encountered. But when it becomes an emotional dumpster where ever detail of how you interact with your husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend,is laid out in a public fashion over and over and over because you dont know when to shut up and wen something is private and personal and when something is appropriate for public debate. you just look pathetic, damaged, and frankly self important. Psst you’re not that important and no one really cares.
What the flem in your snot rag looks like, how often you take a dump, what your bloody menstruating pussy smells like. Are also examples of blatant over sharing. Seriously I’ve seen all those tweets happily shared by people, some sex workers, some sex writers all of them adult oriented accounts. Now if you’re trying to get men to pay for your sexual time be it online or off, you want to b at least a little enticing. Tweeting about your digestive system will likely not meet that end so don’t be surprised if you actually do harm to your ability to make money. You’ve alienated your target audience. Added bonus, you’ve grossed out your support system, other women who really don’t give a fuck about your latest bowel movement and will tune out your poor me cries when you start to notice your income decreasing because you were unable to recognize how those actions would come back to bite you in the ass.
Turn the tubes OFF
In the same respect we all have bad days and its easy to vent on the intertubes. Fuck, i do it often. However it’s imperative to learn when you need to turn off the Internet walk away and not put your personal life out there for every Tom, Dick and Harry to examine, give you advice, or worse seize the opportunity like JR high kids to further make you feel bad and emotionally harm you. Yeah, you’ve alerted the trolls and not only given them opportunity but put the blood in the water for them to smell. I get having a bad day, hell i get having a bad month. CALL a girlfriend, reach out to someone OFFLINE to vent, to share your personal details with, seek support, advice and tenderness. You not only wont get it from the masses of unknowns on the tubes but it will harm your brand if you keep that up.
Ah the brand… yep were brands. We invent who we are online. True that can shift and change but whats your goal with you online persona? Dont know? Spend some time and figure that shit out. I can guarantee you that hibitually over sharing isn’t a good brand strategy. Its not good for you emotionally, its not going to get you the validation you need, it will harm your reputation.
The Internet is the public square, i know it seems intimate because you are communicating from your house, your bedroom. You might even be wrapped in fooite PJ’s or sitting at your laptop in nothing but belly button lint and a smile. I seems intimate, personal and small but its not. Its public, huge and far reaching. Over sharing on the tubes makes you the obnoxious loud talker at the restaurant, you know then one who thinks they are sooooo important that everyone needs to hear (wither they want to or not) what they have to say.
The sooner you understand this, the better off you will be.