GFE aka the girlfriend experience its much sought after. For the time contracted you try to connect with your client, be intimate, present and involved in your time together. That the job, that’s what i do and i do it well. Sure i can deep throat a cock, fuck you silly and scream like a banshee but that’s the easy part, finding the connection with someone in such a short space of time is a skill and one you need, to do what i do.

What i have found is that many potential clients not only expect that kind of experience within the context of the time he has purchased with you, but they now want it outside of it as well. What they want is essentially a defacto relationship of sorts. Not just a few back and forth get to know you emails which I’m always up for, i tend to be sweet but not to personal in those communication because that’s how i am. I’m sweet but I’m not to personal with people i don’t know well. If you want to get personal then book the time and i will be very personal then..and naked!

I had a client cancel on me recently it turned ugly and fast. Expenses were incurred on my part and the client graciously offered to reimburse me for those, then suddenly balked. It was uncomfortable and he was insulting. He sent me long winded multi paged chastising emails where he worked himself up into a massive froth of total wakadoo-ness. The last paragraph of the last email he sent me he actually had the stones to chide me on how i wasn’t sympathetic to his personal financial situation. A situation that was responsible for his need to cancel our confirmed plans or rather it was his relatives personal financial situation, that’s what i didn’t care enough about. Yep that’s right, i didn’t care enough or at all about his siblings finances.

Now had this person been a friend of mine, someone i had a personal relationship with or even regular client who i had spent intimate time with i would have had sympathy for him and or his family. But i didn’t because he wasn’t a friend of mine he was a potential client, someone i had exchanged a few plesentries with off and on for a while until he finally decided to book time with me. He wasn’t a friend, we had never broken bread, gone out for a drink or a movie, until a few days before he canceled leaving me with a hotel bill i prepaid i didn’t even know his real name, i only know him by a message board handle and he was littlerly enraged that i didn’t care about his siblings financial plight. yep that’s a whole lotta crazy right there.

I know times are tough for a lot of people, I’m not immune to that, people i care about have been out of work for months, family members have lost retirements, every one i know is tightening their belt these days myself included. I watch the news, i know about the rising unemployment rates, I’m well aware of my Local economy taking a nose dive and how the housing bubble in my area busted over a year ago. I’m not unsympathetic to the general plight.. but… I’m NOT your fucking girlfriend. I offer a service, the girlfriend EXPERIENCE and of you want me to act like your girlfriend you need to PAY me to do it, i don’t give that up for free unless i really am your girlfriend and for a potential client and long time hobbyist to throw a temper tantrum because I’m not giving him “free service” well … whacka-doo is the word i have to repeat.

Within the context of my paid time with you if you want to lament to me about your siblings hardships i will be the most sympathetic person i know how to be, i will empathize with their difficult times if that’s how you want to spend your time but until that time, i don’t owe you shit.

I’m not your bitch…bitch

Mean girls are abundant in the world of escorts. Frenimies abound. Its hard to find real friends who are hookers, sometimes when you think you have a real friend you don’t. In retrospect you realize that’s the relationship was draining and unsatisfying for a number of reasons, the least of which you were just desperate for understanding from someone who shares your unique experiences and ultimately got sucked in by some emotional vampire, with issue after issue. In the end you realize you spent the bulk of your “friendship” dealing with, listening to and fixing someone else’s problems. I have seen this over and over with other women and i have lived it myself.

Lets face it lots of fucked up women are escorts, this business attracts crazy women. The lifestyle is fast paced and can be excessive, its a very hard business to say grounded in. No real hours, you don’t live on a schedule, have no regular income, its feast or famine. Many girls don’t have a real home and live out of suitcases, never having a place to call their own, a place to be responsible for. The transient effect makes vulnerable to crazy people down right looped .

I am like a magnet to those types of female friendships. I have to really work hard not to get sucked into situations like that. I fail often. In the real word when a friendship fails its easier to walk away, that’s not to say its not painful but walking away is what most people do. You go your way, i go mine. When friendship with a crazy escort fails, you better watch your back. Because someone that has lost touch with the real world such a way as to not even be capable of maintaining the responsibility of a modest place to live, surly isn’t capable of walking away from a broken friendship and moving on. No matter how much you hope they will.

They come back over and over like a bad penny… there are long standing feuds. bad feelings that last years, I’ve seen it destroy people. Eat at them up, hurt them.. good people too.

You might ask why i wrote this, yes i have my own personal saga with a crazy escort friendship that failed and try as i might to find a middle ground a way to coexist without there being constant conflict i find myself at a loss. I’m out of ideas. the animosity on her side is rampant and vile and mean. Ive said nothing about my struggle with this for 7 long months except to seek advise from the 2 people who i trust most. Both have tried to give me sound advice about letting it go moving on. Though how i accomplish that when I’m constantly having to ward off bad juju is beyond me right now.

I found myself tonight thinking back to my teen-aged Buddhist household and trying to employ the techniques i learned then.. like chanting for her happiness. I know it sounds silly but if someone is happy then they are not exactly likely to put in the energy to try to fuck with your life. So i did, i don’t know if it did anything except to make me feel a little more in control of the situation. Then i sat down to write this with a clear head .

I guess i just need to be the ball more often.