I write therefore I am

"I once saw a dildo .. this big"
As you may have noticed over the last year I’ve been writing sex toy reviews for Eden Fantasys. It’s been a really fun experience and I do love it when random sex toys show up in my mail (who wouldn’t). Actually I do love sex toys in general so toy reviews were a natural progression. After taking a break from toy reviews because of my cross country move and having no time for anything let along testing out and writing about naughty sex toys and after getting settled in to my new digs I was approached about writing other things that relate to Eden Fantasys, so I wont be doing the toy reviews any longer but writing about other sexy naughty informative sex culture things in sponsored post for the folks at Eden Fantasys. Instead of keeping the product I review, I’ll be receiving gift cards so I can pick out my own naughty toys and we all know how much I love gift cards… and naughty sex toys. Its a win win in my book and I’m looking forward to giving it a whirl, seeing how it goes and writing about all kinds of interesting and different things. But wait there’s more (said in my best  as seen on TV voice) this isn’t a program special just for me if you are a sexy writer (i know a lot of you write) with a readership above nil then this is open to you too. The official name is “Eden Loves Bloggers” and you don”t have to be an escort or sex worker to write for them they have options  for mommy bloggers too. I’ve been treated really well by them and have enjoyed the whole process  and I can recommend then and you should check them out  So there ya have it, a little whats new in the world of Jenny and a  little share the blog wealth. Tell um Jenny sent ya, ha!

Inner music the words make

A.. B...C...D...E...
I’ve been writing this blog for a number of years and its hard to stay inspired sometimes. I’m often bitching an moaning that i cant think of another thing to write. It’s hard to come up with article after article post after post trying to stay at least a tiny bit relevant and amusing. In doing that I’m often scouring the web and other blogs for other writers to read and other blogs to steal ideas from be inspired by.  I happened across the EdenCafe and was actually quite surprised by it. Lots of stuff up there from interviews with porn stars to stories about male hookers (OK that one was written by Monica Shores, who I’ve long been a fan of) but the point being there’s a lot of good reads there and a lot of interesting voices.

 

 

Example: while distracting myself and procrastinate making fetish clips ( i know right!) i cam across n interesting link on the Twitter. Yes, i love the Twitter. It was about the slut walk in Toronto. Seems a bunch of ladies took the the street up there in the great white north to protest an incident where a Toronto cop told a classroom full of students at York University that to avoid rape they should avoid dressing like a slut. even though the Officer allegedly received further training for his ridiculous statement and fucked up antiquated slut shaming attitude it wasn’t enough for 1,50 protesters who took to the street for a “SlutWalk” good for them! after reading this story i realized it was a Sexis story and on the eden fantasy blog.

So its a good find there are lots of hidden gems and lots of sexy, sex poz stories, reporting, articles to both inspire and steal okay maybe just get inspired from. I got it in my Google reader and will be checking out out often. Just thought i’d share a little.

 

Milquetoast

Which way to go
New direction, new focus, new, new, new. I’ve been writing this blog for close to 4 years and when I started, it was a place for me to comment on my life of being a hooker. How i saw myself, my place as it were in the escort world. A place where I could speak freely with out reprisals from moderators on message boards and website owners. Since the bulk of the culture at that time was focused on the all mighty message board. It was a place and a way where i controlled my content, could find my voice, and speak my mind and my truth. Though naive and silly me I did suffer reprisals from my blogging by unscrupulous ass hats who thought their reach was further then it was. They tried to chase me off message boards, harm my business with  back channel chatter, spread rumors lies and my personal info all over the net. I’ve even had websites dedicated to little ole me for speaking my truth about being an escort. Yes, there were reprisals. However they didn’t discourage me from writing, (obviously) they only served to make themselves look like insane and desperate power grabbers trying to take up against an independent blog, on a message board/website/etc., it was in no way connected to or had any authority over. So yeah, fuck those guys.

 

As the years trudge on I find my focus changing. My life is changing, both personally and professionally. More changes are coming over the next few months with me as well.  The kind of sex work I do is changing. I have and I am broaden my horizons, trying new things reinventing and revisiting things i used to do before i was an actual real live hooker with a heart of gold. My personal life is changing in major ways, which affects my work life. That happens when you do sex work and have a relationship ive learned. As the relationship changes so does your work. So this blog will be changing with me.

I never cared for spinach
I have spent some time going back over this blog and what it is that people respond to. What kinds of things resonate more then other things, basically what do people want me to write about. What is it that provokes the most and strongest reactions and what garners me the most attention both from my piers in sex work, the curious non sex worker and the easily titillated media,  of which I have had many brushes with (both wanted attention and unwanted) and I can tell you this… its not only writing about fucking for cash. So i will be expanding this blog.. my blog, to encompass more of what interests me as i evolve and what i perceive as what interests my readers who have got to be sick and tired of the hooker only talk as much as I am.

 

I also get more accolades with my writing when i slice and dice bullshit and tell things as i personally see it. Playing nice …  well I’m over that. It seems people think I make people angry and invoke strong reactions even when I’m working hard to be inclusive and more mild, so why bother trying to temper what i do? Seems pointless.  It’s like the person who’s always being accused of cheating on a partner when they are doing nothing of the sort. Sooner or later they are going to have the inclination to do the actual cheating since they are always being accused of doing it anyways.

You wouldn't like me when I'm angry
You thought i provoked a strong reactions before? Well hold onto your hat because you haven’t seen anything yet. I’m pissed, I’m looking for new direction, and unlike some people out there in la la bullshit sex worker land…I know how to accomplish things and I’m not afraid to say what ever it is i feel like saying… in any way I feel like.

 

I don’t want to be milquetoast. As I’ve said over and over though out my life the worst sin you can commit is to bore your audience. I’m  lot of things .. but I’m not boring.

If you cant bribe your friends

lose lips... ruin lives

I have celebrity clients. I live in LA its almost a requirement to fuck famous dudes for cash here. I keep my mouth shut about who they are, why blow a good thing and besides I’m not here to ruin lives only to make them occasionally a little more exciting buy giving my famous clients a small bite of the forbidden fruit which is Jenny DeMilo. The first  famous guy i ever saw was a bit of a surprise as he used a pseudonym with me. So when he opened the door i was a little giddy because…

I had always been a fan.

I was amused at how by a strange turn of events i was naked on the floor being plowed rather expertly by someone who i admired. I did admire him all the more after he pounded me to high heaven but that’s neither here nor there. What i found interesting was that as i was leaving he stuffed wads of cash into my hand. I told him it wasn’t necessary, That he was too generous ( yeah i know, I’m a ho were all supposed to be money grubbing whores) he made me take the cash, looked me right in the eye and said and i quote…

“If you cant bribe your friends? Who can you bribe”

Bribery for all my friends!

He was right, that was my hush money. It made him feel better to know he sufficiently paid me to keep my trap shut about him having his way with me 12 ways to Sunday on his library floor, dinning table and hallway. And i was okay with that. The funny thing is we did become friendly after that. In fact he was the first to encourage me to start writing. So not only did i get paid, and expertly fucked by someone i was a fan of but i got encouraged to do the thing that as it turns out gives me a lot of pleasure.

it was by far one of the best appointments i had ever gone on and.. strangely i will always be grateful he picked me over the plethora of other dirty girls at his disposal. He did me a good turn and for that my lips will always be sealed.

Hatred is the coward’s revenge for being intimidated

The duce you say

A recent comment on my blog about the last meet and greet I attended got me thinking.

The commenter basically said that if it wasn’t for “bad” hobbyists that hookers like me would go broke. More then insinuating that escorts have to see not so stellar clients to get by. It’s an old argument that I believe is rooted in the age old “you cant say no, you’re a hooker” argument that comes up time and time again. I could argue the point until I’m blue in the face that escorts actually do have a choice on who they see and some guys would never accept it. I’m sure I probably will at some point bring it up again (can you say reoccurring theme) But that’s not what this comment got me thinking about.

Youre so bad on the Internet you should be punished

He seemed to imply,  actually it wasn’t an implication at all that there are more “bad” guys then good guys who see escorts. In fact the scales are so greatly tipped in the bad guy direction that he made the bold statement that escorts like me would “go broke” if we refused to see bad guys and only held out for good ones. Inferring that the majority, dare I say super majority pool of men who seek companionship are bad guys. That’s quite a statement and quite a damning commentary on his fellow hobbyists. Now to be fair he was reacting to a rather unflattering portrait I painted of my last hobby party so maybe he doesn’t truly believe most hobbyists are “bad” I would give him the benefit of the doubt on that if it wasn’t for the “zinger” her tried to get in at the end telling me I was “mean spirited” in my approach and wishing me “good luck with that” rut roh, was I being an uppity whore again and made someone mad on the Internet? Apparently so.

Now, I expected to piss some people off with my entry about my last meet and greet however I expected I would piss off the people who could see themselves reflected in the behaviors I wrote about. Maybe I was being naive but I didn’t expect to see such a blanket statement made by a man, a hobbyist, a john about his “bros” Sure I expected ladies who have shared experiences to chime in with their thoughts about similar situations but for a hobbyist to so flatly state that hobbyists are bad? What a surprise.

So the question is do hobbyists really think all other hobbyists are bad guys? Do they think of themselves that way or when they talk about how hookers would go broke if it weren’t for bad guys, do they mean all the other guys ..yanno all the other guys but them.

A hero not a zero

I know from the female prospective that lots of escorts struggle with the morality of what they do, the good and bad of it all. A lot of stigma is put on the “whore” even from within the community there is still stigma put on the ladies and there is still a heavy shame factor. There is  stigma put on men who frequent prostitutes too but in the “hobby and message board subculture” its not so prevalent. The men are regaled who see many hookers, they write glowing reviews of their encounters, they are commended for writing not so glowing reviews of their encounters under the guise of looking out for each other. The women of course are often still just “whores” and many times discounted for it but them men… heroes among mongers.

Why do wrong when you can Do-Right

So is that all just so much bullshit? Do they really think their fellow punter is a “bad guy” the guy they cyber high five for his detailed review of the hooker hes just fucked is really in their own eyes  “bad.” Is that self loathing? Or an inability to come to terms with the reasoning  of seeking out intimate encounters with paid ladies in the first place? Or worse is is derived from the observation that many hobbyists don’t treat the ladies they see with respect …. outside of the bedroom.

Is this really what hobbyists think of each other? I sure hope not because that is sad indeed. I know I don’t think poorly of the other ladies who choose to do this. Everyone has their reasons and everyone has their own demons and to generalize and put down an entire group for their choice, a choice I might add that I have in fact made for myself would be down right “mean spirited.”

I like to think I’m more self realized then that… at least I try hard to be.

“Human beings will line up for miles to buy a bucket of catastrophes, but don’t try selling sunshine and light – you’ll go broke.” ~Chuck Jones