Client Vrs Hobbyist

Hookers are your freinds

Lots of different guys like to screw hookers. They are from every walk of life, every income bracket, every race, creed or color. There’s no way to single out a group of men and say ” those guys dont/haven’t/never will bang a hot chick in exchange for cash” they all do it, have done it, will do it. You cant divide them into groups.. you can however sub categorize them. Now the common term for pay for play companionship for those in the subculture is… “the hobby” yep fucking hookers is now a hobby, yanno like building model cars or collecting stamps. The common term for a man who fucks hookers on the regular is a “hobbyist” yep hes just engaging in a little fun past time like building a ship in a bottle. Though i dont like either of those terms i use them because they have become the lingo of the culture and its just easier (hey I’m lazy) I however am no fan and have made it no secret that I’m no fan of … the hobbyist. Don’t get me wrong i love men who fuck hookers. Hey they keep me employed and put food on my table. I like to call those men, clients. A client is a man who screws hookers. A hobbyist is a man who not only screws hookers but delves so deeply in the culture of fucking hookers that they think it makes them special… that they fuck hookers.

Newsflash: hookers get paid to screw you, its not like its a hard thing to make happen. It sure as fuck doesn’t make you special because you have a spare 300-1500 bucks for a little pay to play nookie. Its like the guy who thinks because hes got 150 to spend on a limo to go out to the club that that some how makes him special and not a douche-bag. Really hes trying to impress other people with his means and that’s what hobbyists do, spend a shit load of time trying to impress others  that hes special because he fucks hookers, spends his days posting on message boards about fucking hookers, back channeling (normal people call this gossip and sabotage) about hookers and finally writing review, after review, after review about fucking hookers. Like who ever has the most reviews of fucking hookers gets into heaven first or something. It often looks obsessive.

She stroked my fur until i purred all over her

As a hooker with reviews i try to keep them to a manageable amount, i dont want every encounter detailed in all it’s hot sweaty glory for all the world to read. I want just enough so that potential clients know I’m legitimate, that i provide what i say i do and that I’m currently working. So when a client asks me if i would like them to write a review as they are walking out my hotel door, i usually just say “not unless you really want to”. Most of my clients are way too busy with lives outside of their hooker fucking pastime to sit down and detail how tight my pussy is anyways.

A hobbyist will always write a review. As I’ve said before its more fun if you get to brag about it after. Or if you get to slam a girl after you’ve paid to fuck her. Cuz really whats more fun then taking out your buyers remorse on someone who just sucked your cock and made you cum. Now there’s nothing wrong with being a steady reviewer but when you mix that with a constant hooker message board presence you get, “he hobbyist”. One who not only writes a review for everything but think hes an authority on all things hooker related. A hobbyist loves to tell hookers how to run their business as if someone who shells out cash for sex knows what its like to be on the other side of the fence. They dont, but they will tell you how to do everything from to market your business to how to suck a dick. Seriously they will. The will also pedal their “guidance”and curry favor, pass you around to their group of old dog friends, and work and work and work for that freebie they are all looking for. Ahhh to be the hobbyist flavor of the month, my skin is crawling just thinking about it.

A client, pays his fee, spends his time with you and then goes home to his life … because he HAS one.

Clients are the goal

Clients are what escorts want, they are low drama, they don’t demand discounted or free services because you are running 15 mins late, they call when they are going to be late. They don’t threaten you with their stature on a message board to get you to provide a service you don’t want to, They don’t stand you up after weeks of planning then blow it off because what are you gonna do complain and if you do that they will just hit the men’s only website and call you names and blah blah blah about you… Clients treat you well and are respectful of you and your time. Clients treat you like people they like, who are providing a service they want. Hobbyists are douchebags with limo mentality who more and more seem to not like women very much. It seems they are working out their mommy, wifey, or ex girlfriend  who fucked them over issues by screwing and trying to manipulate as many hookers as they can on message boards.

I was personally involved with a man who enjoyed fucking hookers for years. He was never a hobbyist, he was always a client to them. I would never date a hobbyist, yanno unless his hobby was golf or something.

Demagoguery and the message board hobbyist

Have you no shame?

Websters defines Demagoguery like this:

Main Entry: 1dem·a·gogue
Variant(s): also dem·a·gog
Function: noun
Etymology: Greek dēmagōgos, from dēmos people 
Date: 16481 : a leader who makes use of popular prejudices and false claims and promises in order to gain power
We see this happen all the time, a hobbyist who writes a lot of reviews  and who the other dudes look up to for intel on hookers, a mod who spends why to much time “moderating” message boards, board posters who spend hours upon hours raising their post count because they feel as if it gets them some kinda notoriety.  Trying to make themselves popular, powerful, large and in charge of the world surrounding the hooker message board. When a popular message board went off line and reemerged in a new incarnation recently, there was a whole bunch of people who were truly upset that they had lost their post count. As if how many times they commented on “what is a gfe” or “shaved or not shaved pussy” matters for something. Well to them it did, the post count made them a leader, an expert in the field of whoredom. At least in their own eyes.
Big fish, or big tits. You decide.

The feel they have power and I suppose in their small pond they might be considered a big fish by some smaller minnows. Then you can always watch it take a turn for the crazy into Demagogue land. They are looked up to by their minnows in the pond and they start to use that admiration to further grab power in any way they can. Usually these are they types that feel powerless in the real live world, who make the mad dash for power on a message board. The types that are not looked up to out side of the online world. But online…. they think they are someone special. How many times has an escort heard “i can make and break your career” by some dude? Lots. How many times has an escort been threatened with a bad review?  Lots. Hell even I  was just recently threatened by some freak on a message board that he was going to give  me a “spike” in blog hits because he didn’t like something in said in a private conversation. (BTW I’m still waiting for that spike you said you were able to deliver, when is it going to get here? I don’t got all day)

'Cause Your Crystal Ball Ain't So Crystal Clear

If they feel it will up their cache, they will have no issue with an attempt to ruin a providers reputation, especially some uppity whore with a big mouth, or some uppity whore out of their price range, or some uppity whore that doesn’t have their preferred body style. They can always find some uppity whore to try to tear down as they try to build themselves up.  I mean whores are to service them, to be how THEY want them to be, they aren’t not real people.  It’s easy to sway a bunch of dudes who have issues with women, that women are bad. If they are predisposed to the idea, then a few well planted words on a “men’s only” website or a few back channel whispers, they feel will do the trick. They not only get to denigrate who ever is the uppity whore of the moment but they get to be raised in the esteem of the minnows which in turns gives them more cache and what they think is power plus, they get granted the moniker of super hobbyist!

Anything for a little power grab when you’re dealing with the hooker world. Ethics? They don’t have any, forethought? Well, you’d need actual thought for that. The hobbyist demagoguery is unleashed and runs rampant. They pontificate and use their slight of hand to further make that long climb up what they believe to be the hobby ladder. They cant wait to get to the top rung where they can wield their immense power to make the minnows and whores do their bidding and they will do it by manipulating people using their own bias and prejudices against them.  Classic… textbook… demagoguery.
Pussy Power Activate!

However, that’s not power. The dirty little secret is that the hookers really have the power because they have the pussy. Power of the pussy will always trump some socially retarded, unaccomplished, egomaniacal, loser who spends too much time thinking about, posting about, talking about and trying to control a bunch of hookers on a message board.

H. L. Mencken defined a demagogue as “one who will preach doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.” Yup that pretty much sums it up.

©2007-2010 Jenny DeMilo all rights reserved. Confessions of a message board hooker. Please don’t steal my hard work. Email me for permission to repost

Hatred is the coward’s revenge for being intimidated

The duce you say

A recent comment on my blog about the last meet and greet I attended got me thinking.

The commenter basically said that if it wasn’t for “bad” hobbyists that hookers like me would go broke. More then insinuating that escorts have to see not so stellar clients to get by. It’s an old argument that I believe is rooted in the age old “you cant say no, you’re a hooker” argument that comes up time and time again. I could argue the point until I’m blue in the face that escorts actually do have a choice on who they see and some guys would never accept it. I’m sure I probably will at some point bring it up again (can you say reoccurring theme) But that’s not what this comment got me thinking about.

Youre so bad on the Internet you should be punished

He seemed to imply,  actually it wasn’t an implication at all that there are more “bad” guys then good guys who see escorts. In fact the scales are so greatly tipped in the bad guy direction that he made the bold statement that escorts like me would “go broke” if we refused to see bad guys and only held out for good ones. Inferring that the majority, dare I say super majority pool of men who seek companionship are bad guys. That’s quite a statement and quite a damning commentary on his fellow hobbyists. Now to be fair he was reacting to a rather unflattering portrait I painted of my last hobby party so maybe he doesn’t truly believe most hobbyists are “bad” I would give him the benefit of the doubt on that if it wasn’t for the “zinger” her tried to get in at the end telling me I was “mean spirited” in my approach and wishing me “good luck with that” rut roh, was I being an uppity whore again and made someone mad on the Internet? Apparently so.

Now, I expected to piss some people off with my entry about my last meet and greet however I expected I would piss off the people who could see themselves reflected in the behaviors I wrote about. Maybe I was being naive but I didn’t expect to see such a blanket statement made by a man, a hobbyist, a john about his “bros” Sure I expected ladies who have shared experiences to chime in with their thoughts about similar situations but for a hobbyist to so flatly state that hobbyists are bad? What a surprise.

So the question is do hobbyists really think all other hobbyists are bad guys? Do they think of themselves that way or when they talk about how hookers would go broke if it weren’t for bad guys, do they mean all the other guys ..yanno all the other guys but them.

A hero not a zero

I know from the female prospective that lots of escorts struggle with the morality of what they do, the good and bad of it all. A lot of stigma is put on the “whore” even from within the community there is still stigma put on the ladies and there is still a heavy shame factor. There is  stigma put on men who frequent prostitutes too but in the “hobby and message board subculture” its not so prevalent. The men are regaled who see many hookers, they write glowing reviews of their encounters, they are commended for writing not so glowing reviews of their encounters under the guise of looking out for each other. The women of course are often still just “whores” and many times discounted for it but them men… heroes among mongers.

Why do wrong when you can Do-Right

So is that all just so much bullshit? Do they really think their fellow punter is a “bad guy” the guy they cyber high five for his detailed review of the hooker hes just fucked is really in their own eyes  “bad.” Is that self loathing? Or an inability to come to terms with the reasoning  of seeking out intimate encounters with paid ladies in the first place? Or worse is is derived from the observation that many hobbyists don’t treat the ladies they see with respect …. outside of the bedroom.

Is this really what hobbyists think of each other? I sure hope not because that is sad indeed. I know I don’t think poorly of the other ladies who choose to do this. Everyone has their reasons and everyone has their own demons and to generalize and put down an entire group for their choice, a choice I might add that I have in fact made for myself would be down right “mean spirited.”

I like to think I’m more self realized then that… at least I try hard to be.

“Human beings will line up for miles to buy a bucket of catastrophes, but don’t try selling sunshine and light – you’ll go broke.” ~Chuck Jones

Excuses, Excuses

Really, Stop it.

You don’t get to use me as an excuse for your own bad behavior. If you are grown up enough to pay for the companionship of a lovely young lady, then you are grown up enough to take responsibility for jerking that same lovely lady around all on your own.

It was brought to my attention that a girl I am friendly with was told by a client of hers (not mine but hers) that he proclaimed to her and he felt she didn’t want to see him (even though she came into town just for the occasion) because I had a snippy exchange with him a while back.

nanny nanny boo boo

Business is business and bullshit is bullshit and that is bullshit personified. I don’t know an escort alive who is going to blow off a current client of hers because a girlfriend had a slight impasse with him. What is this 8th grade? I don’t pass notes to other escorts saying “Johnny was a big fat meanie to me at recess, don’t be nice to him”

Newsflash: This isn’t grade school and I don’t spend my time informing all my girlfriends when some ass-hat jerks me around. We are all too busy to get caught up in sewing circle details of hobbyist bullshit. I felt my chain was yanked, I responded with how a felt about that, I received a mea culpa, which I promptly ignored. Why waste my time on infinite back and forth with someone who I felt had already yanked my chain and wasted my time enough. Not my style. But for a hobbyist to use me as an excuse, is not cool. This hobbyist acted exactly  how he wanted to and because he didn’t want to lose the favor of the fair young lass he fucked with (ya never know someday he might want to see her again, or his dick would) and when he found himself in her presence he back-peddled and made lame ass excuses using me in the process. Bad move. Sack up Nancy!

BTW its customary for a “hobbyist” to PAY me if he’s going to use me. Umm… so shall I sit here and wait for a check? Yeah I wont hold my breath.

I can hold my breath for a long, long time

A man’s manners are a mirror in which he shows his portrait

Emily Post is on the phone

I’ve been to a lot of parties, all different kinds of parties.

Weddings parties, children’s parties, cocktail parties, bachelors parties, work Xmas parties, costume parties, fancy A list Hollywood parties, slumber parties, rock and roll sushi parties, frat parties, swinger parties. Small, large, private, public, you get the picture. I’ve attended a really good cross section of different kinds of parties though out my life. What can I say I’m a notorious party girl.

I went to a party the other night, a hobby party. More commonly called a “meet and greet” it’s really a cocktail party where providers (hookers) and hobbyists (johns) can meet in a relaxed social setting. Eyeball each other and see if they want to meet up for a paid date at a later time. How does a hobby party differ from any other kid of party? It really shouldn’t but it does in one very distinct way.

The men tend to be rude obnoxious fucks when attending a “hobby party”

All the bitchez want me

Many are playing grab ass, pretending that they are a hot commodity and manhandling the chicks, telling themselves they all want their fat, unfashionable, no mannered, halitosis infested, boorish asses.

Other are still trying to up their hobby credibility, showing up in rented exotic cars with highly sought after providers. Thinking it shows the other dudes how fucking cool they are. Yeah the Maserati is rented and so is the girl how cool can you really be? umm not very, loser.

Others are simply there to be nasty to girls trying to make a living, to feed their own egos. Snubbing providers and or leading them on. Pretending to be interested in their wares, letting escorts invest time and effort in them  and then turning them down.

A few are in wannabe pimp mode, selling their websites, photo services, “guidance” whatever they think they can make a buck with or get a free session with. Working the room like a desperate unsold screen writer who bluffed their way into an A- list celebrity party.

I expect a certain amount of social awkwardness at a hobby party. Face it, there’s a certain kind of guy who pays for the attention of escorts and sometimes that’s a guy who’s nice but just doesn’t have the social graces and maybe the experience. However that doesn’t mean free reign on being a rude douche and really those shy guys kinda hang back and if you approach them they are generally nice although maybe a little unsure of themselves. That’s to be expected.

unlike some of you, they know how to treat a lady

Whats not to be expected is grown, experienced, married, businessmen who don’t have the common courtesy to ask a women sitting at a bar he’s been chatting up for 15 minutes if he could by her a drink. Or if introduced to a lady extend and shake her hand, look her in the eyes and say “it’s nice to meet you” not mumble something unintelligible under his stinky breath then slink off like a fucking weirdo because shes not his type. Again it’s called manners fuck-nuts.. use them.

I witnessed all kinds of really unacceptable behaviors at the party I went to the other night. I actually saw a guy refuse a ladies card when he had just spent 20 minutes chatting her up and hogging all of her attention.  I saw a man interrupt a conversation with a few people to ask a lady an unrelated awkward question and after she politely answered it, he stormed off in a huff because she went back to her original conversation and didn’t shower him with attention. She was polite and kind and he was a ill mannered fruit loop.

Do you know any Jonas Brothers?

Oh and no one is there to listen to you sing Karaoke over and over and over.  You are no rock-star because you can sing an off key and pretty sour version of Huey Lewis’ “I need a new drug” sure sing one song, knock yourself out but least you forget the point of the party? Oh yeah, to meet hookers so that you can pay them for sex. You’re not there to get discovered by David Geffen.

There are friendly, cordial, polite men that go to these parties. They are just harder to come by. They are usually people I refer to as “my friends” because my friends are generally nice people or they are “new guys” this is there first or second time at a meet and greet. Those are the men you will see me talking to at a meet and greet. If I am hunkered down in one spot talking to a gent for a while or a small group of guys, then he/they have shown me some class, charm and manners.

This kind of rude behavior I never see at parties in the civvie world, because people are at parties to have fun. It seems that at these hobby parties there are all kinds of hidden, secret and often mean spirited agendas. That’s not fun, that makes me not want to go to them anymore. Trust me, I can be 100 different places, with 100 different people all of them more interesting, exciting and entertaining them some married middle aged, rude piss-ant who thinks because the ladies at the party are escorts, he can treat them like …whores.

Good manners are made up of petty sacrifices

Editors note: This blog post seems to have attracted a lot of attention recently. If you wish to repost it please email me for written consent as it is copyright protected. I also would invite you to comment in the comments section but please keep it polite.