Jenny DeMilo

A man’s manners are a mirror in which he shows his portrait

Emily Post is on the phone

I’ve been to a lot of parties, all different kinds of parties.

Weddings parties, children’s parties, cocktail parties, bachelors parties, work Xmas parties, costume parties, fancy A list Hollywood parties, slumber parties, rock and roll sushi parties, frat parties, swinger parties. Small, large, private, public, you get the picture. I’ve attended a really good cross section of different kinds of parties though out my life. What can I say I’m a notorious party girl.

I went to a party the other night, a hobby party. More commonly called a “meet and greet” it’s really a cocktail party where providers (hookers) and hobbyists (johns) can meet in a relaxed social setting. Eyeball each other and see if they want to meet up for a paid date at a later time. How does a hobby party differ from any other kid of party? It really shouldn’t but it does in one very distinct way.

The men tend to be rude obnoxious fucks when attending a “hobby party”

All the bitchez want me

Many are playing grab ass, pretending that they are a hot commodity and manhandling the chicks, telling themselves they all want their fat, unfashionable, no mannered, halitosis infested, boorish asses.

Other are still trying to up their hobby credibility, showing up in rented exotic cars with highly sought after providers. Thinking it shows the other dudes how fucking cool they are. Yeah the Maserati is rented and so is the girl how cool can you really be? umm not very, loser.

Others are simply there to be nasty to girls trying to make a living, to feed their own egos. Snubbing providers and or leading them on. Pretending to be interested in their wares, letting escorts invest time and effort in them  and then turning them down.

A few are in wannabe pimp mode, selling their websites, photo services, “guidance” whatever they think they can make a buck with or get a free session with. Working the room like a desperate unsold screen writer who bluffed their way into an A- list celebrity party.

I expect a certain amount of social awkwardness at a hobby party. Face it, there’s a certain kind of guy who pays for the attention of escorts and sometimes that’s a guy who’s nice but just doesn’t have the social graces and maybe the experience. However that doesn’t mean free reign on being a rude douche and really those shy guys kinda hang back and if you approach them they are generally nice although maybe a little unsure of themselves. That’s to be expected.

unlike some of you, they know how to treat a lady

Whats not to be expected is grown, experienced, married, businessmen who don’t have the common courtesy to ask a women sitting at a bar he’s been chatting up for 15 minutes if he could by her a drink. Or if introduced to a lady extend and shake her hand, look her in the eyes and say “it’s nice to meet you” not mumble something unintelligible under his stinky breath then slink off like a fucking weirdo because shes not his type. Again it’s called manners fuck-nuts.. use them.

I witnessed all kinds of really unacceptable behaviors at the party I went to the other night. I actually saw a guy refuse a ladies card when he had just spent 20 minutes chatting her up and hogging all of her attention.  I saw a man interrupt a conversation with a few people to ask a lady an unrelated awkward question and after she politely answered it, he stormed off in a huff because she went back to her original conversation and didn’t shower him with attention. She was polite and kind and he was a ill mannered fruit loop.

Do you know any Jonas Brothers?

Oh and no one is there to listen to you sing Karaoke over and over and over.  You are no rock-star because you can sing an off key and pretty sour version of Huey Lewis’ “I need a new drug” sure sing one song, knock yourself out but least you forget the point of the party? Oh yeah, to meet hookers so that you can pay them for sex. You’re not there to get discovered by David Geffen.

There are friendly, cordial, polite men that go to these parties. They are just harder to come by. They are usually people I refer to as “my friends” because my friends are generally nice people or they are “new guys” this is there first or second time at a meet and greet. Those are the men you will see me talking to at a meet and greet. If I am hunkered down in one spot talking to a gent for a while or a small group of guys, then he/they have shown me some class, charm and manners.

This kind of rude behavior I never see at parties in the civvie world, because people are at parties to have fun. It seems that at these hobby parties there are all kinds of hidden, secret and often mean spirited agendas. That’s not fun, that makes me not want to go to them anymore. Trust me, I can be 100 different places, with 100 different people all of them more interesting, exciting and entertaining them some married middle aged, rude piss-ant who thinks because the ladies at the party are escorts, he can treat them like …whores.

Good manners are made up of petty sacrifices

Editors note: This blog post seems to have attracted a lot of attention recently. If you wish to repost it please email me for written consent as it is copyright protected. I also would invite you to comment in the comments section but please keep it polite.

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15 thoughts on “A man’s manners are a mirror in which he shows his portrait

  1. Steve Hemingway

    I think the reason that men behave badly in this setting has a lot to do with dominance aggression.

  2. Sexybrie

    I’ve had some horrible experiences at meet and greets, too. I refuse to play into a power game. A lot of the hobbyists seem to think that if they are paying you that they can treat you any which they feel like. Some of them seem to get off on bargaining my rates down. I told them what my rate was and they said oh no I won’t pay more than XX for any lady. 🙁

  3. vonboyage

    Halitosis? pimping photos and ads on his website? I know exactly who you’re talking about. Hysterical. That’s why I love your honest posts. Why can’t the ladies host these types of parties and only allow the ‘good’ ‘serious’ guys in after some screening? That’s what it’s going to come down to, just to keep the air fresh around some of those functions. would they revoke someones hooker card and membership to their ‘BOARD’ if they girls got together in a group and hand selected the men and did NOT include them in on the action?
    who the fuck sings Huey Lewis now days?????

  4. Greg

    If hookers only depended on the “good” guys they would go broke. Unfortunately, bad asses are a requisite feature of all aspects of life. You make great points, but in a mean-spirited way. Good luck with that.

  5. jennydemilo Post author

    @Steve: you may have a point there

    @Brie: Sorry to hear you have had similar or worse experiences

    @Von 😉 its all about power i suppose – and youre spot on about Huey Lewis .. ha!

    @Greg: Umm why is it you dudes always think us “hookers” dont have a choice in the who, what and why of whom we chose to see? We really can make a living just seeing the “GOOD” guys and dont have to suffer the “BAD” ones or go broke” because we want r e s p e c t

    As far as my “mean-spirited way”.. Being a BAD hobbyist isn’t acceptable in my book and I’m not worried about hurting their little feelings by being frank about that notion. I think grown men who pay for hookers, write explicit reviews of their encounters that are often more then a little critical can handle a little feedback of their own actions.

    Thanks for your comment though, come back anytime 🙂

  6. D

    It doesn’t matter what the venue is…when you get a gathering of people…you will find every type. Even simple social gatherings attract the odd loser.
    A ‘Hobby Party’ basically targets more losers at one time just because of the theme behind it. Most good guys do not really take part in these types of parties or maybe more so …do not have the opportunities to.
    So in saying that…you are left with more idiots that act like you owe them something if they choose to be with you. In your description of this party…you mentioned it is a place for both parties to meet and greet…unfortunately the loser types feel that it really is up to them whether you are chosen…they totally miss the point that it is a 2 way street and NO, you could care a less about whether they choose you or not.
    They are also of the opinion that yes….you are selling your goods which puts you on a level to be treated like dirt. Operative word being ‘cheap’.
    I see this scenario happen in bars all of the time…guy picks up girl..acts like she is gold for that night…then never calls her again…thinking it was his choice and she should be thankful he dared take her home….leaving the girl to feel exactly how he portraits her and that is ‘cheap’. Yet the guy smiles and adds another notch on his belt and moves on to the next victim of choice. The girl is left with a label of being cheap to everyone including herself.

    You are so right in your thoughts…these guys are posers at best and they feel like they are above you because of your job description…when in fact they are so much lower as their actions are who they are.

  7. Veronica Moore

    A HILARIOUS and very very true take on the M&Gs!

    You know, I’ve expressed my dislike of these functions, but never quite realized WHY I didn’t like them. I think this pretty much sums it up!!

  8. Sexybrie

    Whoa, Greg. That’s a bunch of bullshit. It’s a matter of weeding through the rude ones to get to the nice men, and there are plenty out there. Everyone has the right to refuse service to anyone.

    You’re thinking more along the lines of street walkers and the johns that patronize them. But even they have a choice. Albeit, it’s a lot harder to screen a guy from a street corner or figure him out.

    I don’t think she’s being mean spirited by telling it like it is.

  9. Bello

    You ladies have obviously not met me then. I respect all ladies especially the ladies in your chosen profession. I will offer to buy a drink for a lady and if she declines ask if she would like to chat. If a lady tells me she really doesn’t want to chat. I politely walk away. No parting shot, I just seek the next lady who catches my eye. Same thing when I want to make an appointment. I initiate contact and if there is no interest within a couple of emails or PMs I move on. There is no reason to be crass, plenty of ladies to go around.

  10. jennydemilo Post author

    Bello: I think it would be a pleasure to speak with you at a meet and greet. You’re exactly they type of guy i was speaking of when i said there are nice respectful guys who do attend them just they are harder to find. i wish there were more like you 🙂

  11. joe green

    Well, Jenny I have read and re-read your posting a few times now and even though some of your complaints and observations are valid I always get stuck at the same place and it sets the tone for the rest of what you have to say…

    “The men tend to be rude obnoxious fucks when attending a “hobby party””

    Personally I resent that if only because when I read it I feel it. Maybe you don’t mean me in particular (hey I’m not that kind of guy!), but the hostility is palpable, and it makes it difficult for me to read the rest of the post objectively. I’ve been to a few M&G’s – maybe I’ve just been lucky, but I have nothing but good things to say about the experiences, the hosts and the attendees. Any gathering can have a pecentage of boors and dickheads of both sexes, but to use that person’s inability to behave as a blanket condemnation “what it is like at a M&G” is shortsighted. And if you’ve never seen rude behavior in the civvie world, head on over to the DD on a Saturday night! LOL

    Even though I may make a pay-date with some of those wonderful ladies that may be at the M&G, I am not ashamed of that fact, I have respect for my lady-friends & I enjoy having sex with them – I don’t consider them ‘hookers’ and I certainly don’t consider myself a ‘john’. That’s just way too crass of an assessment IMHO.

  12. jennydemilo Post author

    Joe: Thanks for stopping by. I can understand your point maybe i should have said “in my experience….” Or something of like. However i tend to just put it right out there. If you didn’t demonstrate any of the behavior i wrote about then it wasn’t about you, if you did….. well then you get the picture. Yes that line in hostile. This blog is blunt and yes, its angry. Providers get angry sometimes. People often forget that were not just playthings were people. If you were personally offended, please dont be. Unless you we the guy playing grab ass with me, then i wasn’t writing about you.

    Im glad you have had all good meet and greet experiences. Unfortunately not all mine have been stellar as stated by my blog above. Your experience does not negate mine and vice versa. We are however two halves of the coin. Providers are there to be engaging to be friendly and welcoming because this is a BUSINESS function for us. for the gents, its a party. So our experiences are always going to be from those to different angles.

    All the behavior i chronicled did happen. I wish it didnt but it did.

    Best
    Jenny

  13. Mysterydude

    Hey Jenny,

    This is an interesting post. My ATF has tried and tried to get me to attend those M&Gs, because she thinks I would be the biggest gentleman there (I tell her she only says that to make me feel good), and I had always refused because I thought there was a different atmosphere that I am not use to. But now, after reading your post, it confirms what I thought the guys would be like there. I did finally promise her that I would attend one M&G, and thanks to your post, I know what to expect and I do have additional insight of what goes on there.

    Thanks for your post!

    Mysterydude

  14. Mike

    Well written! I am sorry you had a bad experience – though I am not overly shocked. I have never been to a M&G – have always been unsure of what to expect. Sounds like I haven’t missed much.

  15. TheNubian

    Even reading this again makes me laugh as well as remind me how things can be at these events. I don’t even have the time to really comment on this but you are spot on.