There’s been a lot of over sharing the tubes. That doesn’t mean sharing, part of the fun of the Internet is sharing and connecting with like minded people. I’m talking about OVER sharing. Divulging every singe thought that pops into your head, every single detail of your life. Using the Internet for validation on your thought process and existence is a slippery slope. Especially if you are a sex worker. Take twitter for example. Sex workers use Twitter for various reasons, to connect with other women in the biz. Its really the best way to organise your own support system (I’ve written about that before) its also a way to market yourself, you can shape your own message. Be who you want to be, let your clients know who you are when your available when you’re not, you can advertise new clips, cam-show times, tour dates, anything really. Different people use it differently but there’s always the danger of over sharing and many people (not just sex workers) seem to be over sharing lately. Spewing the most intimate details of their lives, on an on going basis.
Think about it, would you stand on a public street corner and tell everyone walking by that about your vaginal discharge, or the details of a conversation with a man you just started dating and how hes backing off because you just are way to needy and emotionally damaged and he cant handle that. Or worse then that all in an adult themed twitter stream would you unload the personal details about your children’s emotional and medical problems and what their doctors told YOU. Now I’m very aware that sex workers etc have children and i don’t think that you should hide that fact. It humanizes us when people know sex workers have lives outside of work and aren’t all just prancing around in lingerie 24/7 waiting for hot action but to share with the world, private details about your children’s sensitive personal and private lives…. Are those really things the anonymous public need to know all the details of?
That is an easy example of over sharing. There are other example that are harder to determine. Your sex life, your emotional life with your spouse or significant other is harder to determine. Some time its good to share because the feedback you get is youre not alone and its a common issue others have encountered. But when it becomes an emotional dumpster where ever detail of how you interact with your husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend,is laid out in a public fashion over and over and over because you dont know when to shut up and wen something is private and personal and when something is appropriate for public debate. you just look pathetic, damaged, and frankly self important. Psst you’re not that important and no one really cares.
What the flem in your snot rag looks like, how often you take a dump, what your bloody menstruating pussy smells like. Are also examples of blatant over sharing. Seriously I’ve seen all those tweets happily shared by people, some sex workers, some sex writers all of them adult oriented accounts. Now if you’re trying to get men to pay for your sexual time be it online or off, you want to b at least a little enticing. Tweeting about your digestive system will likely not meet that end so don’t be surprised if you actually do harm to your ability to make money. You’ve alienated your target audience. Added bonus, you’ve grossed out your support system, other women who really don’t give a fuck about your latest bowel movement and will tune out your poor me cries when you start to notice your income decreasing because you were unable to recognize how those actions would come back to bite you in the ass.
In the same respect we all have bad days and its easy to vent on the intertubes. Fuck, i do it often. However it’s imperative to learn when you need to turn off the Internet walk away and not put your personal life out there for every Tom, Dick and Harry to examine, give you advice, or worse seize the opportunity like JR high kids to further make you feel bad and emotionally harm you. Yeah, you’ve alerted the trolls and not only given them opportunity but put the blood in the water for them to smell. I get having a bad day, hell i get having a bad month. CALL a girlfriend, reach out to someone OFFLINE to vent, to share your personal details with, seek support, advice and tenderness. You not only wont get it from the masses of unknowns on the tubes but it will harm your brand if you keep that up.
Ah the brand… yep were brands. We invent who we are online. True that can shift and change but whats your goal with you online persona? Dont know? Spend some time and figure that shit out. I can guarantee you that hibitually over sharing isn’t a good brand strategy. Its not good for you emotionally, its not going to get you the validation you need, it will harm your reputation.
The Internet is the public square, i know it seems intimate because you are communicating from your house, your bedroom. You might even be wrapped in fooite PJ’s or sitting at your laptop in nothing but belly button lint and a smile. I seems intimate, personal and small but its not. Its public, huge and far reaching. Over sharing on the tubes makes you the obnoxious loud talker at the restaurant, you know then one who thinks they are sooooo important that everyone needs to hear (wither they want to or not) what they have to say.
The sooner you understand this, the better off you will be.
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Amazing post. I’m of the same opinion.
I dislike the oversharing, and I also dislike is the bullying. Adults can be bullies to other adults, and among other things, be insulting, shit-talkers about their exes, ex-friends or ex-lovers, in this over the top psycho drama. Yuck. I’m just here to have a good time. Worship me fools! 🙂