Domme-land, escort-land and the all mighty reference

Another day at the office

I am both an escort and a professional Domme. I work in both worlds and though both are sex work there are particulars and specifics to each niche.  For example references. In escort-land references have become very common place. It’s one of the ways all parties stay safe.  As an escort I ask for a reference all the time, it’s  given that I will ask for them and check them after one is given. In Domme-land… not so much. The fetish providers haven’t embraced the reference system the way the escorts have. Likely because being a Domme  is legal sex work. Well, for the most part. However Domme’s can and do get arrested for solicitation. There are fetish activities that cross the line into prostitution. For example “strap-on play” you’re pretty much fucking a guy in the ass. How is that not sex for money? It is. Many Dommes dont even like to call themselves “sex workers” because they feel that’s just code for “prostitute” its not but the term is often used that way so i can see them trying to distance themselves instead of embracing it. Though how you could fuck a man in the ass for cash and not think you were a sex worker is beyond me. Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt I suppose.


I wish more Dommes would use references, to help keep every one safe and maybe as time moves on they will. This is a up close and personal business and face to face encounter kinda thing and even if you were not providing a boarder line service that might be construed by an officer of the law or a judge as “sexual” wouldn’t it be nice t know the client you have in front of you, pays, doesnt cross boundaries and isn’t a fucking nutcase? Because  a reference means more then “hes not a cop”  it means “hes on time”  it means “he didn’t cross the line”it means … hes safe to see.

Taken down HARD

You have the right.. oh fuck your rights

A well known agency was busted. Miami Companions. They went down hard. 5 people arrested so far. From the looks if it they got the owners, the office manager, the bookkeeper and what looks like may be the recruiter. Many government agencies are involved including immigration and the IRS. This is bad news.

I’m a well known independent sex worker and i have very little love for agencies in general for several reasons.

A. Most tend to be shady operations that are thinly veiled pimps where greedy men (and sometimes women) are making large bucks on the backs of hard working sex workers. They overwork them and take most of the money (in Vegas the girls  work on tips, the agencies take all of the show up fee)

B. Agencies are the big fish to law enforcement agencies. When an agency goes down they are charged with all kinds of felonies and in some cases RICO can be enacted. Its not a misdemeanor solicitation charge. It’s money laundering, pimping, pandering running a house of prostitution and even human trafficking. Its a big flashy score for the law and it makes a tasty news story. Not only can they get a big collar but they get to show the national media how well they are doing their jobs, earning their keep and justifying their budgets.

Even though i don’t have a lot of love for agencies Miami Companions was a reputable one. One of the more respected agencies around. I would accept a reference from them. They were often very nice about giving refs to independents, as not all agencies are. My dealings with them were always professional and above board.

Which brings me to my point, why do clients use agencies such as Miami Companions? I think there are several reasons. But i think many of those reasons are misnomers and should be reexamined.

1. The convenience factor.

They like to be able to call up and just get whoever is available. Its easy, they don’t have to do a lot of homework and research to make sure a girl isn’t a rip of. It’s the lazy mans approach to whore mongering. Plus agencies are well know for recruiting strippers and turning them out, so if you like that stripper look you can often find that style of hooker working for a big name agency.

2. They believe their personal information is safer with an agency then an independent.

This is probably where they make the biggest mistake of all. Now i cant blame a guy for being lazy but i can blame him for being shortsighted. An reputable agency will screen you like a independent will screen you. You need to tell them who you are. An agency will keep your info so they can know who you are next time you call and an independent will keep your info so she can reference you to another provider. Since the reference system is how we all play safe. Some will  tell you they don’t keep your info, but that’s a big fat lie. You know it and we know it. So a client is lulled into a false sense of security and feels comfortable giving his info to a agency IE  business because it feels more secure. “the business wont blackmail me and tell my wife” “the agency isn’t shady, its a known entity”  they feel that some indie girl is more likely to use their info against them.

The reality is that anyone who you give your info to can try to use that info to harm you, which is why you choose carefully who you share it with and do your research. With an agency you run the all to familiar risk of your name being on a client list when there’s a bust and the story hits the national media. It happened in Arizona a while back and that client list DID make it to the press. (i knew people on it) Because agencies are such a juicy target the odds are higher they will become the focus of an investigation, where the worse thing an independent can get busted for is solicitation and that is generally a misdemeanor. Not exactly what a multi agency federal investigation points their resources at. Indies who get arrested are usually caught up in a general sting operation. Smart indies who screen will have a very low risk of getting busted at all.

Risky Business

So with all that taken into account why would anyone use an agency. This is a risky business and the risk isn’t just for the escorts, the clients all have risk and need to take steps to minimize it. EVERYONE has something to lose, and that is often forgotten when you get all caught up in your little subculture and its easy to lose sight that this isn’t legal what we do. That people can and do go to jail, lives can get destroyed because it’s found out that someone is an escort, or that someone frequents them

No one knows how the whole Miami Companions bust will affect the business. Will it scare off clients, will it bring a flood of new indies on the market who were agency girls and the pie will get smaller? Only time will tell. So be smart, use your critical thinking skills, don’t be lazy, do your homework and you can have a lot of fun nailing the hot sexy girl of you choice for a little pay for play action. When a client does this its a win/win when he doesn’t… well ask the guys in Arizona how well that went when their names were released to the media as whore mongers

I’m sure it didn’t go over real well at home.

Hearding cats and other pastimes

Know, it learn, it live it...

Verifying references is essential. I’m a reference friendly escort. That basically means i will vouch for a guy I’ve seen when he wants to see another escort. He gives her my info then she contacts me and i let her know that I’ve seen him. Its one of the way ladies stay safe.

I have a very specific way i do things, i expect the escort to give me enough information on the potential client so that i can easily figure out who shes talking about. His name, email, board handles, cell number and maybe something to jog my memory about him but usually just the specifics he would have used to book with me are needed. I dont see people with out verifying them, so if i don’t have their cell, name, email, etc… i didn’t see them.


The other information i need is on the escort asking me for the reference. If i dont already know her personally or have had some kinda online interaction then i need her to let me know who SHE is to make sure SHE is legit. I’m not going to haphazardly give out a reference if I’m not 100% sure it’s a real escort asking for the info and not an angry wife, nosey reporter or even a man in a uniform. So i expect an escort to write me from her main email, to give me a link to her reviews, website, verification service profile or combination there of.

Seems simple enough right? Well its not. I never used to have reference issues but it seems every third one that comes in these days there’s an issue. From not enough client info, to who the fuck are you asking, to oh my god how about you put on your “I have manners and i know how to use them” hat and not demand that i do you this favor because you’re an entitled bitch that the world owes a favor to.

I got a reference request from a girl i never heard of. She didn’t do any of the things i need to turn her around a reference. Only partial client info, no info on herself (not even an web address in her email signature) and she was a rude entitled twat. One line “I need a reference for INSERT FIRST NAME HERE. His email address is INSERT EMAIL ADDRESS HERE” and…. that’s all she wrote. Now off the top of my head i know who the client is, he uses me as a referece often, he’s a regular and a really good client. So i write this chick back telling her i need her to give me HER Info in order to be able to help her out that i need to verify HER and id be happy to give her a reference if she could do that. I was much nicer than i wanted to be. Mainly because hes a good client. I never heard back from her.

Days later my client drops me a note asking if i got a reference check, that he was dealing with a difficult provider. I forwarded him the exchange between this dumb bitch and myself and told him she never got back to me. He then forwarded to me his exchange with her. This idiot told MY client that his reference didn’t check out and she declined to see him. Now she can see whoever she wants but WTF cunt! It wasn’t the client that didn’t check out, it this dumb slag. I asked for more info and this fool told a client who used me as a ref “he didn’t check out” un-fucking real. I saw red.

I don't owe *you* anything, i owe my client

Well my client and i compared notes (and emails) and he was grateful that I’m as careful as i am with his personal information. Clients put their trust in us when they give his screening information and its up to us to safeguard that info and to do our due diligence when doing a reference check. He said he was done dealing with her. Obviously she’s retarded. She lost out on a really good client and her name is mud with me for attempting to try to ruin my good relationship with a client by lying to him, in reference to me.

From now on I’m CCing all client reference check response to the client as well. I dont know if it’s that the economy is down and girls who would never be escorts start working and sully it with their terrible business practices and stupid dumb attitudes or if its the rise in hooker-dom on the TV and movie machines or maybe it’s just I’ve been lucky in the past with this issue. But seriously its not rocket science it shouldn’t be like herding cats but these days it sure seems like it is and really I’m not a cat herder nor do i want to be one.