I wish more Dommes would use references, to help keep every one safe and maybe as time moves on they will. This is a up close and personal business and face to face encounter kinda thing and even if you were not providing a boarder line service that might be construed by an officer of the law or a judge as “sexual” wouldn’t it be nice t know the client you have in front of you, pays, doesnt cross boundaries and isn’t a fucking nutcase? Because a reference means more then “hes not a cop” it means “hes on time” it means “he didn’t cross the line”it means … hes safe to see.
Great post. As a hybrid fetish/traditional escort provider I agree strongly.
It seems like some dommes and fetish providers feel that they don’t have to screen, or that it will turn clients off. Sure, sometimes it does – but not as many as some think, and often the ones who are turned off are turned off for a reason. The right ones understand that by not letting random people into our space we’re protecting our clients as well as ourselves and each other.
To put it another way: I screen and I’m not starving.
Great post and I hope Dommes read it. It’s this weird Catch-22 because some [BDSM/fetish] clients totally understand and are not weirded out by screening, but others, because so few Dommes screen and usually not to the extent Escorts do, find this an invasion of privacy. So I’ve adopted a hybrid to keep myself safe depending on what kind of scene they want; sometimes it requires a reference and/or deposit. When I’m met with resistance, I think the client isn’t serious. After all, if you don’t want to meet my pretty basic requirements, what else would I think about you?