Ripped Off

getting ripped off!

A civvie friend of mine, from way before high school, I’ve pretty much known him all my life tells me he’s broken up with his girlfriend and is thinking about seeing a hooker. Now the funny thing is this friend of mine doesn’t know I’m a escort! He  knows I work as a Pro Domme, he knows I know something about the sex business and that I’m open minded and have never judged him about anything.

I give him the low down, I tell him how not to get ripped off. How to cross check reviews to ads, where to look for reviews, what mall sites to look on, how to check phone numbers, reputations, web presence and most of all how to spot a fake, a rip off and an bait an switch agency… We talk about his desire to see an escort, why he wants to see one, what kinda experience he’s looking for… yadda yadda yadda.

He takes none of my advice. He calls two girls after midnight, off Backpage, who show up with two bulky bald bad ass drivers and they pretty much rob him of over 400 bucks with the “whole were not hookers were dancers”, “all this money goes to the agency if you want more you have to pay more” never to provide any service standard operating Los Angeles bait and switch agency procedure, the full experience  i tried to teach him how to avoid.

Since I’m one of his oldest friends and he mine he did tell me about his rip off experience also throwing in that “wow you really know your stuff, it happened just like you had said it would” no shit Sherlock!  Then the question came,  he asked me how I knew so much. I responded with “I just know things” and i left it at that, he didn’t press me. Though he’s probably one of the people I could tell I was an escort and had been one for years I just wasn’t up to the whole confess and tell all the stories kinda conversations I know id be in for if I fessed up to my secret life. I did try to scare him a little because i didn’t want him to try again and not take my advice and put himself in a bad situation. Especially when there are so many awesome legit women working in LA he’d have a good experience with.

no bj, no hj, no sex

As another friend of mine said.. being ripped off is part of the process. I guess it is.  My good friend who had the inside track did everything he could to be ripped off, he went out of his way to get ripped off. Maybe because it was reinforcing to himself how he shouldn’t be banging hookers, who knows really but so many guys are not smart about seeing hookers, i cant even begin to count the number of clients who told me about their rip off story when they first started down the paid companionship road. Usually they only get ripped off once, then they get smart about it.. So maybe it is part of the process in paying for sex, it really could be.

I told my friend that the next time he had the urge to give away his money that he could just write me a check… he laughed but I was serious.

Escorts.com Is shutting down

RIP E.com

Escorts.com is shutting down in just a few days. Its really to bad i liked that site. I suppose we all should have seen the writing on the wall when a few months back they took all their reviews off line “for maintenance” Before that the company that owns then under went a little visit by federal authorities. Now no one really knows if they were visited because of Escorts.com as the company has its hands in several business from 800 numbers, to webcam sites, to adult film distribution. So really who knows but what we do know is they are shutting escorts.com down end of May.

Escorts.com was a great resource for smaller city touring, it was the resource for small town touring. Plus though it had reviews and had ads, it had NO forums. What in my humble opinion was awesome and welcome  change from message boards and mall ad sites. A way to do business, meet clients, show you were legit and not have to worry about board culture, hobbyist’s ego and and power grabs? Yeah that will be missed… a lot.  It certainly was a tool I used when i went out on the road and a gap will be left from its closure. It will be interesting to see what takes its place, and you know something will, something always does when something like this happens. I hope what ever it is, that they run their show at least close to how escorts.com ran theirs.

 

Not all money is good money

No one wants to fuck Grumpy

As an escort you sometimes have to put up with a negative client or potential client. The client that wants you to “sell” yourself to them, the kind that think you need to impress him, woo him, seduce him into booking an appointment with you. They often have a “prove it to me” attitude. These same types of guys also love to tell hot chicks at the strip club no. I think they just go to the strip club so that they can tell hot girls no, when the girls are just  doing their jobs and trying to hustle dances.

I never go out of my way to book those style of potential clients, in fact just the opposite.  I usually delete the email or hang up the phone. On occasion i get pissed off and say something not so nice and sometimes the reaction is a big ole pissing match between me and the once potential client. My attitude is one of you either want to book me or you don’t. I have websites, blogs, profiles, reviews, clips, tweets, ridiculous amount of photos, so if all that info isn’t enough and you still NEED me to send time hard selling myself to you, then i already know i wouldn’t like you, don’t like you and really don’t wanna spend my naked time with you, regardless if you have a hand full of cash to spend or not. Not all money is good money and spending an hour or two with that attitude is something I’d prefer to avoid. In fact id rather rearrange my sock drawer and anyone who knows me, knows i hate that.

It’s as if that guy, the “sell me guy” doesn’t really like women very much and that attitude comes pouring out with every word in an email or with every syllable on a phone call. I’m thinking it starts young, in high school or college, when they didn’t get treated by women how they think they deserve to be treated or rather how they’re entitled to be treated.  It festered and now as full grown ass adults and they are resentful, entitled and often mean. They also are usually pretty pissed off they are seeing escorts to begin with. They forget its a choice. They forget they could just as easily spend their time and money wooing women into their beds who are not paid companions. However with their decided lack of charms that would require a different kind of approach. They’d have to be NICE to them  because the “I’ve got the money so you have to take my bullshit attitude and still act like you like fucking me” ain’t going to work with women who are in your bed because.. and here’s the key, they want to be there. Escorts will fuck you and pretend like they want to be there because they only have to do it for an hour and then they forget you existed. Civvies.. yeah not really how they operate.

You don't have to be Don Juan, you do have to be nice.

So Mr entitled asshat might actually have to be nice to them.. which of course is one of the reasons he’s banging hookers to begin with. He doesn’t have to even try to be nice or he thinks he doesn’t. Because they dont want to adjust their attitudes, they feel as if escorts are their “only” choice and that makes them mad , resentful and very hard to deal with.  That guy truly treats us like whores in the process of working out his many personal issues with women in general. Oh joy of joys.  Sure there are girls who will see any douchebag who screens with a fits fulla dollars. Good for her, I’ve never been that girl.

I can't look away!

As much as i love money and we’ve well established money is what makes my panties wet, i don’t love it enough to have to spend a few hours with a blow-hard ass hat if i can help it. Show me your an ass hat off the bat and I’ll be “unavailable” , on vacation, all booked up or I’ll forget to respond. Now I’ve been tricked into sessions with asshats and I’ve sucked it up and slapped a fake smile on my face with a giggle, a hair flip  and gotten though with a mantra of “its just an hour” going off over and over in my head and my client(s) were non the wiser. But i like to avoid that if at all possible. Why in a business so personal, intimate  would i chose to put myself in a situation where someone isn’t nice to  me where  thinks so little of me, my kind or my gender that they feel entitled to treat me in a less then kind manner because they have a little extra cash. Oh i wouldn’t and no one should have to. I know its sex “work”  and just as with any job, some days are better then other days but when you see the train coming you get off the fucking track. You don’t stand there let the train run you over then later try to convince  yourself as your scrubbing in the shower to get the wheel grease off you it wasn’t that bad… it was that bad you just got hit by a train. Better to get off the track next time to avoid all that messy train wreck stuff.

Learning to pass up the bad money is one of the hardest things to learn working as an escort. But its important lesson to learn. It’s one of the ways I’ve managed to stay in this often difficult business for the years I have and not have to wear too much emotional damage on my sleeve.

Milquetoast

Which way to go

New direction, new focus, new, new, new. I’ve been writing this blog for close to 4 years and when I started, it was a place for me to comment on my life of being a hooker. How i saw myself, my place as it were in the escort world. A place where I could speak freely with out reprisals from moderators on message boards and website owners. Since the bulk of the culture at that time was focused on the all mighty message board. It was a place and a way where i controlled my content, could find my voice, and speak my mind and my truth. Though naive and silly me I did suffer reprisals from my blogging by unscrupulous ass hats who thought their reach was further then it was. They tried to chase me off message boards, harm my business with  back channel chatter, spread rumors lies and my personal info all over the net. I’ve even had websites dedicated to little ole me for speaking my truth about being an escort. Yes, there were reprisals. However they didn’t discourage me from writing, (obviously) they only served to make themselves look like insane and desperate power grabbers trying to take up against an independent blog, on a message board/website/etc., it was in no way connected to or had any authority over. So yeah, fuck those guys.

 

As the years trudge on I find my focus changing. My life is changing, both personally and professionally. More changes are coming over the next few months with me as well.  The kind of sex work I do is changing. I have and I am broaden my horizons, trying new things reinventing and revisiting things i used to do before i was an actual real live hooker with a heart of gold. My personal life is changing in major ways, which affects my work life. That happens when you do sex work and have a relationship ive learned. As the relationship changes so does your work. So this blog will be changing with me.

I never cared for spinach

I have spent some time going back over this blog and what it is that people respond to. What kinds of things resonate more then other things, basically what do people want me to write about. What is it that provokes the most and strongest reactions and what garners me the most attention both from my piers in sex work, the curious non sex worker and the easily titillated media,  of which I have had many brushes with (both wanted attention and unwanted) and I can tell you this… its not only writing about fucking for cash. So i will be expanding this blog.. my blog, to encompass more of what interests me as i evolve and what i perceive as what interests my readers who have got to be sick and tired of the hooker only talk as much as I am.

 

I also get more accolades with my writing when i slice and dice bullshit and tell things as i personally see it. Playing nice …  well I’m over that. It seems people think I make people angry and invoke strong reactions even when I’m working hard to be inclusive and more mild, so why bother trying to temper what i do? Seems pointless.  It’s like the person who’s always being accused of cheating on a partner when they are doing nothing of the sort. Sooner or later they are going to have the inclination to do the actual cheating since they are always being accused of doing it anyways.

You wouldn't like me when I'm angry

You thought i provoked a strong reactions before? Well hold onto your hat because you haven’t seen anything yet. I’m pissed, I’m looking for new direction, and unlike some people out there in la la bullshit sex worker land…I know how to accomplish things and I’m not afraid to say what ever it is i feel like saying… in any way I feel like.

 

I don’t want to be milquetoast. As I’ve said over and over though out my life the worst sin you can commit is to bore your audience. I’m  lot of things .. but I’m not boring.