Just a perfect blendship…

no this is you ...

I know a lot of people but I don’t have a lot of friends. By that i mean close friends, real friends, people you go out of your way for, feel for and want the best for when they are sad and hurting and  and  happy for then their lives are going good. I have a huge array of acquaintance and people i am friendly with. Especially in the business, where its hard to trust people. I have and I’m sure will again trust the wrong people. It’s part of my make up to see the good in people first and not the bad.

In sex work its hard to find kindred spirits and you long for a connection of other women who do what you do, who can understand you. I reached out to a lot, i still do. I have not always been treated well in return. I’m trying to learn from those mistakes of trusting the wrong people. It’s a hard lesson, especially hard when you want to trust people, when you’re idealistic and want the world to be a good place and not the hurtful on t really is.  It will be an on going lesson i suppose i will keep learning until the end of my days.

I bring this up because i was reminded the other day of and  hence deeply saddened by a friendship that has gone they way of the buffalo. No more, finito, kaput, over and out. As it turns out when i could do no more, i was of no use, i was discarded. I don’t like being reminded of this past relationship randomly in my email but i was. It’s still a sore point and makes me re-think all the relationships i have with other women in the business and on an on going basis. So I’m mad that i was used by a “friend” yes, but I’m twice as mad that as a result  I now look at everyone suspiciously if they are too friendly with me. That there’s always that nagging feeling in the back of my head “what are they trying to get from me, what do they want me to do for them”I hate that i think like that now.

You can really see the differences in action when someone goes to the mat for you when they didn’t have to, when they don’t have a secret agenda or expect anything in return. When because they love you as a friend are just plain there for you when you need a friend the most. This doesn’t happen a lot for me because I’m tend to be the one going to the mat for others but it happened for me recently. A friend, a real friend went out of her way, the extra mile both in a real sense and in an emotional one to help me though a real tough time. When i was losing my shit and out on the ledge  she distracted me and calmed me and the next day before the sun came up and i was lying in the dark waiting for the other shoe to drop she was the one to tell me it wasn’t going to happen. For that i will be ever grateful. Friends like that are rare… and everyone should appreciate them when they are lucky enough to have one cross their path.

I going to have to buy her brunch tomorrow,  just to say thanks.



Domme-land, escort-land and the all mighty reference

Another day at the office

I am both an escort and a professional Domme. I work in both worlds and though both are sex work there are particulars and specifics to each niche.  For example references. In escort-land references have become very common place. It’s one of the ways all parties stay safe.  As an escort I ask for a reference all the time, it’s  given that I will ask for them and check them after one is given. In Domme-land… not so much. The fetish providers haven’t embraced the reference system the way the escorts have. Likely because being a Domme  is legal sex work. Well, for the most part. However Domme’s can and do get arrested for solicitation. There are fetish activities that cross the line into prostitution. For example “strap-on play” you’re pretty much fucking a guy in the ass. How is that not sex for money? It is. Many Dommes dont even like to call themselves “sex workers” because they feel that’s just code for “prostitute” its not but the term is often used that way so i can see them trying to distance themselves instead of embracing it. Though how you could fuck a man in the ass for cash and not think you were a sex worker is beyond me. Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt I suppose.


I wish more Dommes would use references, to help keep every one safe and maybe as time moves on they will. This is a up close and personal business and face to face encounter kinda thing and even if you were not providing a boarder line service that might be construed by an officer of the law or a judge as “sexual” wouldn’t it be nice t know the client you have in front of you, pays, doesnt cross boundaries and isn’t a fucking nutcase? Because  a reference means more then “hes not a cop”  it means “hes on time”  it means “he didn’t cross the line”it means … hes safe to see.

Toys in the attic

It's Purty!

There’s nothing I like better then sex toys in my mail. Okay there’s a few things, like big fat stacks of cash, rainbows and sparkly ponies, but those doesn’t invoke the giddy response of “ohhhh Prezzies” like random free stuff does.  I was contacted by the folks at Eden Fantasys, they liked the honesty of my blog (i love it when people like me) and wanted me to do a little write up on one of their products. Gotta love folks who want you to speak the truth. I figured why not. I like writing and i like sex toys so it was tailor made for little ole me.

As i do with any of the product reviews I’ve written up i had this item sent over to Lou… My best friends furry tabby cat. I’ve written about Lou before and his relationship with the UPS/USPS/FEDEX people and since I’m lazy about the P.O. Box thing i like to have saucy mail sent over to his house because it makes me laugh. When the The Bnaughty Deluxe bullet vibrator arrived, I was really rather impressed by the packaging. Yes, i know I’m a design nerd. My background as an art director demands I pay attention to such things. Quality matte paper with spot color and varnish, they put some cash into it. When I took the bullet vibe out of the box it too had a sleek modern design. Looking good to the eye is a good first step I mean who wants to in the throws of passion whup out something that looks like it was conceived and made in some junk yard. Black and silver with an almost ergonomic shape to it. The cord from the actual bullet vibratie part to the controller could be a little longer but that’s really not much to complain about. This thing has several speeds. 1,2,3 are what you would expect  escalating constant speeds like most vibrators. Its when you get up to 4,5,6,7 that the fun begins. Low thudding vibration is first up on the menu, then some patterns of alternating pulsing and vibration in various combinations. Yeah that’s different and rather fun, my lady parts would have done a jig provided they had the ability to.

This little but powerful sex toy is best enjoyed with a partner cuz really when your alone you just need to get the job done and all those bells and whistles are not necessary. With a partner though, this could be a real sweet little addition to your toy chest. Looks good, fairly quit so you dont have to compete with the toys volume when you get vocal, with lots of speed, pulse and rhythm variation. Just talking about it makes me wanna bust the sucker out and go to town on myself…

New Erotic Femdom Hypnosis

X-posted from Mistressdemilo.com – http://mistressdemilo.com/?page_id=16

A Pat Dry and Jenny DeMilo Production

I was able to hook up with one of my rock-star music producer friends for a little collaborative effort on a new femdom hypnosis MP3. Yes, being a notorious Hollywood party girl does have its benefits. My friend and collaborator will have to remain under the Nom de Plume “Pat Dry“. A pseudonym as it were to shield his mainstream music career from the evil backlash that is Professional domination and fetish enthusiasm…heh. However this is the real deal and its kicked femdom erotic hypnosis up to a higher level.


The new Mp3 is called “Dickmatized” and its available though me directly or many of my clip studios Like Clippette or Clips4sale. It’s 24 mins of audio fetish femdom delight that will take you to places you never dreamed of going to before. To the deep dark world of cock obsession. All my talent and that of my cohorts were brought to fruition on this new Mp3. Not only is is exciting and haunting but it employs many unique effects such as multi track masking and back masking. Implanting deep  subliminal triggers and multiple hypnotic suggestions that will be buried deep within the inner and real you. This seriously is the good stuff. Best listened with headphones to get the full and total hypnotic effect and there are lots of effects.

Sample of Dickmatized

More collaborations are on the way, though its hard for me to get on Pat Dry’s busy schedule being as hes got mainstream albums to produce, write and play on and all that jazz. So keep your eyes and more importantly your ears open for more in the near future.