Dear Abby…err Jenny

Dear Jenny....

It happened again, another email from another young hopeful who found my blog while doing her “research” on how to be an escort. I’m pretty sure this one didn’t actually read most of my blog however she did take the time to write me an email explaining to me how great she’d be at living the rock and roll lifestyle and how she wanted to get into escorting. She told me shed tried her hand at it already and also worked as a stripper and asked for advice. I had some time so i wrote her back instead of just sending her the link to blog post i already write about and for those wanting to get into the biz.

Her tone was a little manic and she asked for some real specifics about working Vegas and the Superbowl. So i didn’t hold back or sugar coat it. I’m sure she didn’t wanna hear that the “rock and roll” hooker lifestyle she dreams about that she’d be an ace at didn’t really exist the way she thought it did. That my advice for her in Vegas was don’t work the carpet if you didn’t know what you are doing, unless you want to get arrested for trespassing and  if you go to the Superbowl and want to work that you screen, screen and really screen since there are always campaigns to thwart all the headline grabbing “sex trafficking” that the anti-prostitution groups like to spew about and make up.  But i also told her if i couldn’t convince her not to get into the biz (as i do with everyone who begs me for help)  that id try to help answer her questions.

Her response…. ?

Advice that stings like a bee

Yeah she didn’t respond. Not a “fuck you bitch how dare you burst my made for TV bubble”, not a “err really its like that?” sure as fuck not a “thank you for taking the time to even respond to my idiot questions and obvious misinformed ass.” Okay whatever, i didn’t have to respond to her in the first place,  that ones on me but it got me thinking. I’m sooooo not going to help wanna be hookers out anymore. I will continue to give back to my community and my friends and friends of friends and do my part to keep everyone safe but I’m not going to go out of my way anymore for those not in the business. It’s turned out to be a serious waste of my already put upon time to try to knock some sense into girls who think “hooking is cool” It’s not, its job like any other job.

There was a story on Salon by a escort who’s blog i read and have read for a long time. The article was about the letters she gets from young hopefuls and how they envy her and it had an all too familiar ring to it. She in this article tried to examine a little deeper why shes an escort and mused at why people would envy her “life” though she is a rather amazing writer (the blog is beautifully written indeed) lots of commenters (sex worker commenters too)  brushed her off and questioned how a whore could be such a good writer and deemed her fake ( shes not fake.. not even close) It was hard to read some of those comments because like many outspoken sex workers who write i get those letters too. I suppose i will get accused of being “fake” soon enough.

It was brought to my attention the other day by a dancer friend of mine that there a wanna be sex worker blog out there supposedly written by a 14/15 year old (nope not linking it). Are you fucking kidding me! Now if you wanna experiment with sex when your 14 (and really they all do) then that’s between you, your partner, the laws in your state and your personal moral code. But if you wanna start blogging about how cool you think it is to be a whore at 14 before you’ve had the time to gain any kind of sexual identity, well then that shit is just fucked up.. way fucked up.

So put that together with the entitled leeches who write me asking for advice/help in escort land and  I’m not helping them anymore. For-fucking-get it.

Here’s some simple facts about being a hooker, if you think its all made for TV glamour and riches beyond your wildest adolescent dreams

1. It’s not a lot of money: Sure you will do better then working at Starbucks and you don’t need a degree to and will pay your bills and be comfortable but you wont get any medical bennies or 401k

2. The sex is not good nor fun: for the most part you’re there to service someone else’s needs. Not only that you’re there to service someone else’s needs and you are not sexually attracted to them, sometime you dont even like them. Cant deal with that, then dont be a ho.

3. You will have to lie to the people you love .. a LOT: keeping secrets can and often does destroy people

4. Once a whore, always a whore: dont believe me ask the NYC school teacher who talked about her brief PAST as a sex worker. She became national news.

Cold..Bitter..Black as night
So don’t ask me for advice and try to ply me with how great you’d be at sucking a dick for cash. I don’t care if you think you’ll be the worlds most amazing whore. Because i write about what its like to fuck for cash and issues pertaining to my community it doesn’t mean i want to help you become a part of it. As far as I’m concerned there’s too many dumb ass bitches in it already. Entitled leetchy whores with no concept beyond their own self serving needs who don’t think beyond themselves in any capacity. No self realization as to how they got on their current path or why they remain traveling on it. Making everything they see, touch and think all about them. Never giving back just looking for new avenues and people to exploit to further whatever personal greedy agenda they have. So don’t ask me how you can get into the business, how i can help you, advise you, teach you, yanno out of the kindness of my cold lack bitter heart. I won’t.

7 thoughts on “Dear Abby…err Jenny

  • I’d actually disagree with the “sex is not good nor fun” part as it really varies on the person (and the client). But I will say I actually have more orgasms during work sex than sex outside of work, where I find the men seem to care less about my pleasure. This is why I almost never engage in ‘hook-ups’ because why bother? I suppose it depends on the clientele each worker attracts but I find a lot of clients actually ARE concerned with the escort’s and want to make the experience enjoyable for them as well.

    Additionally, I have several “sex maniac” friends who do this type of work who just love getting fucked, so any sex is good sex for them.

    But yes, there can be some gross and unpleasant experiences along the way, but I think that statement holds for non-work sex as well. Except when I’m not getting paid for it, and it’s bad, I get really pissed.

  • @Serpent I didn’t say or mean “gross and unpleasant’. there is a middle ground. But working sex with someone you are not sexually attracted to is the norm for most i believe. Sex with a partner you care for and are attracted too blows work sex out of the water. I think many young hopefuls that i hear from, think they will be getting paid for screwing men they would be screwing if they saw them at the mall and really that’s just not the case. I mean that’s why its work and though I’ve known one or two women who screen for sexual attractiveness and sexual compatibility the lions share of escorts get picked by someone who’s attracted to them.. they dont do the picking. They see who shows up and make them feel that they are attracted to them. again.. thats the job.

  • Sina

    I hear from many other escorts that you shouldn’t expect to explore your own sexuality while escorting. I partially disagree. Of course one shouldn’t expect that every encounter, or even most encounters, will be super sexually satisfying. But if one goes to a date with a positive attitude it will be so much more fun and one will get more out of it than just the money.

    It is possible to make enough money without fucking people one really doesn’t feel comfortable with, so why should one? (Of course, one has to have a broader scope of people one feels comfortable having sex with than the majority female population) Sometimes I feel like there’s a negative attitude against women who actually enjoy the meetings and do discriminate. Maybe it’s a form of “you can’t have your cake and eat it too?”

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