I used to be a pro Domme before i was an escort. I’ve been in and out of the “lifestyle” for as long as i can remember. I’ve been a fetish model, I’ve been a hardcore foot model, I’ve even been a paid professional submissive. I’ve bottomed in my real life just as often I’ve topped. I once went in a blind date to a private dungeon. You could Say i have some experience.
You could also say i became disenchanted. I have a love hate relationship with BDSM. Which turned to hate more then love, the scales tipped so i stopped playing. well, i stopped playing for anything but the occasional paycheck. I had listed on my escort site that i was a “former” pro Domme. True but I’m also a former “lifestyler” i found that being involved in my local BDSM/fetish crowd was unsatisfying. The were not “my people” even though i enjoyed some of the same sex games they did, the power exchange… the wardrobe! I found i had very little in common with them. We didn’t read the same books, see the same movies or have the same politics. I had one thing in common with them… kinky sex. That’s not enough for me… so i would often walk away from my local scene. I once threw out all my gear/wardrobe/toys, thousands of dollars worth of stuff.. in the trash. I did go crawling back like a bitch but when i threw it all out, i meant it i was done. I had one to many un-fulfilling experiences with one more person i had only one thing in common with.
When i started escorting full time that somehow filled my need for the taboo – suffice it to say that my fetish friends wouldn’t approve of fucking for money. Hell most of them didn’t approve of putting hardcore fucking into a BDSM scene. So many were secret prudes, who liked to play dress up another reason i didn’t fit in with and left my local BDSM scene, i’m so not a prude.
But the urge has never fully gone away in me. So i would occasionally see the fetish client and top them though i kept it all very top shelf and light. When i started to do the phone sex and web-cam work, the Domme door was reopened to me. Lots of talk of cuckolds, humiliation, panty boys, sissification and every fetish in between. I started to think about seriously getting back to professional domination. I weighed the pros and the cons and the pros won out and i put up a local professional ad.
It’s funny to see things come full circle. I wont be crawling back to my local scene, even though over the years it has expanded to include more then just Star Trek fans in leather. I don’t have any interest in being a part of it. With my escorting, photography, writing, blogging, clip making and now pro domination i don’t have time to pursue another subculture. Id rather just humiliate/torture/tease some piece of submeat for cash. Thats what really gets my panties wet and sloppy….. cold hard fat cash. The fetish/bdsm stuff…. thats just gravy.
I understand handcuffs, ropes, spanking. I like watching some S&M, Sasha Grey has some cool stuff. However, I have never wanted to be submissive or dominate.
I will say that your pictures on this page are very unique and turn me on. You are an interesting person, I enjoy your enormous volume of twitter comments, although mostly self promotion, they have an odd stream of thought. It makes me wonder where your mind goes, and what you are doing when it does.
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yeah I’m so hard to figure out and hold everything so close to the vest plus never talk about what it is I’m thinking or feeling. Enjoy trying to dissect me, i am after here for your amusement.
I look at BDSM as one of life’s delightful spices. The thing I love about it is there are many facets and avenues to explore and play in. However,it is key to have a real time partner that shares your likes and interests and practices safe,sane play while respecting boundaries.
One on one real time is my thing and I have had some mind rocking sessions that I cherish to this day. The clubs and scenes can provide a cool energy but it also attracts posers,creeps,ego-maniacs,and jerks. I have noticed that there has been a real annoying trend of pseudo BDSM wannabees in the last decade,while I’m delighted that there is a healthy growing interest in alternative play,I could do without self proclaimed all-knowing,clique obsessed,D-bags that seem to be populating what I used to consider a very special and exciting scene.
No more throwing out your gear!!! store it and the day shall come when you want to dawn it again and release that mischievous playful spirit that craves a special blend of spice and excitement!
Trekkie’s in leather…great line Jenny! 🙂