Jenny DeMilo

On being valued

I roll, you die

I’ve been a pretty loud voice in my small community of sex workers. I’ve helped a lot of new girls, tried to give back to my community, use the reference system to help keep everyone safe and been burned by people i had once considered friends. That’s kinda how it goes.  I invoke a strong response in people. I always have. I started bucking the system when i was 7 years old. In my progressive private school i helped develop the curriculum.. yes, at 7. When i entered college at the age of 15 nothing had changed, i still was bucking the system. It was often a hard earned battle but my critical thinking skills were polished to a fine sheen, if even in the process my ability to pick my battles was a skill i left to to learn another day. I didn’t learn to pick my battles until i was a driving force in my chosen filed of advertising and really i never learned that well. I fought for everything i believed in, until one executive who i worked under really took me under her wing in that regard and took the time to help me learn not to expend my energy on all different directions but to prioritize my battles.

Is that a lance in your pocket...

It’s a consent struggle i want to fight for everything. I have an over developed sense of justice and I’m fearless (well almost fearless) i dive in headfirst and a beat my opponents to a bloody pulp.  It’s just kinda what i do. over the last few years i have been trying to pick my battles more carefully and to direct my energy in other areas. I don’t have to jump every time I’m poked with a stick, though the instinct is to jump and jump high.

I recently was pretty critical of a sex worker related third party service and my criticism was noticed and noted and the company recently reached out to me. Turns out someone there understood i do have my thumb on the pulse and that i do have valuable information to share. It was really affirming to have a lengthy conversation with this executive and not be treated like a dumb whore but a valued resource. I’m still in process with them but will be writing in more detail upcoming about my dealings with them.

You can't hate other people, without hating yourself

In contrast there’s a group of hobbyists who wont stop talking about, treating me and acting like I’m some kinda dumb whore to be harassed, ridiculed and made fun of. If you don’t like what i write stop hitting my blog 10 times a day. Sack up and talk to me if you’re really all that concerned about my views on the pay for play subculture. You all know me in real life, don’t be pussies. If you dont wanna be reasonable with me, then go live your life and stay out of mine. If you don’t have a life … go get one!

It was a really interesting day yesterday to view the contrast of the two situations being valued and not being valued. Wanna take a guess which battle I’m going to prioritize?

I think its a pretty obvious choice.

2 thoughts on “On being valued

  1. Ethan Lambert

    You know, I try not to pass judgments on anyone based on their likes or dislikes – people who pay for sex do not get an automatic ding in my book, because I’ve done it myself once upon a time. But people who both pay for sex regularly AND get into little message board flame wars over it? That raises a brow.