The hustle mentality

... get my feet back on the ground

No good deed goes unpunished is a mantra for the escort world when dealing with other women. I genuinely care about other people. I’ve been called big hearted but I’ve been called a bitch. So maybe I’m a big hearted bitch, I dunno. I’ve gone out of my way to help other girls, answer questions to those less experienced, point them in the direction of good information and help to steer them clear of the bad info that could literally ruin their lives. I do my best. Maybe I have a need to be appreciated or maybe I just don’t wanna see one more dead hooker in a hotel room off the track. Maybe a combo of both.

For this interest in helping out ladies I have been repaid with copious amounts of bullshit. Some of that is to be expected. This business attracts crazy girls (who are often really fun) and can push girls on the edge of crazy clear over to the other side. Its hard to be grounded and an escort.  Plus there’s no shortage of “hobbyists” who love nothing better then to instigate and fan the flames of bad feelings between women. There’s a certain breed of hobbyist that not only loves to interfere in the business of female interaction, they excel at it. That’s not to say that all the ladies I’ve come across are nutso, not the case at all. I’ve met and maintained friendships with many ladies throughout the years and those women I hold close to my heart and would do just about anything for (y’all know who you are)… However I think the scales are tipped in the crazy bullshit direction most of the time.

I have shot photos of girls for free, referred clients, lawyers, driven girls around, bought dinners, sent money for a plane tickets, designed web banners and even had a show down with a pimp in a Costco parking lot. I shit you not. But when I have asked… “who will help me bake this bread” ala “The Little Red Hen” working girls I have gone out of my way for pretty much never even think of busting out the rolling pin to help me bake.

Is it professional jealousy? A testament to tough times and no one wanting to go out of of their way? Or is it something else, the hustle mentality maybe. Lades are so used to hustling clients for just a little more, that they carry this prevailing attitude into their personal interactions with other women and attempt to hustle the hustler. Nothing pisses me off more then when a colleague treats me like a trick and it happens more often then it should.

It was Madeleine Albright who said … “There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women” I know what she is saying. We are still the second sex, we still make 73 cents on the male dollar and I don’t personally know a women alive who hasn’t been sexually harassed on at least one of her jobs though her life. We need each other like rich white boys need their frat brothers, like Latinos need the LULAC and African Americans need the NAACP. You need someone to watch your back and when they can, give you a leg up. Not because you are entitled but because that leg up brings you to just even on the playing field.

Girl Power?

That’s the real reason and after all this time and all the punished good deeds  I have endured, I still go out of my way to help other women. Especially other escorts because not only are they at a detriment because of what they do and how it’s shamed by mainstream society but because  of the disadvantage of their gender at birth.

They, we, me… need a leg up just to get even.

4 thoughts on “The hustle mentality

  1. Well I agree with you Jenny. Like you I helped a few ladies as much as I could only to be called a bitch when they were making money thanks to my advices and help. It hurt a lot because I am not this type and think that we should help each other in this business. But I guess it is about competition etc…

    Your blog is fabulous by the way:)

    Sydney

  2. Thanks for writing this. I’ve been frustrated by this dynamic (especially in friendships) for a long time. I suppose coming from a background of activism and collective working, I forget that opportunism and individualism in the sex-worker communities is pretty intertwined. I struggle with SW friends/colleagues taking a mile while I try to give constructive input (tips on jobs/angles to work). After being a bossy Femme-Domme to my paypigs all day, it’s still hard to assert myself to my sister sex-worker and insist on reciprocity in our exchanges. I hope, with time, this changes and we are able to make progress on out projects without exploiting eachother’s energy.

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