Jenny DeMilo

So you wanna be a hooker?

Every time there’s a big mainstream media article about Hookers i get contacted by young hopefuls asking for advice on how to get into the game of pay for play companionship. With Radars recent debacle (hipster hookers my ass) the amount of mail I’m getting asking for advice is off the hook. So to save myself from having to repeat myself over and over to inquiring minds i thought id share some of my words of wisdom, advice, warnings, ramblings or what ever you wanna call it.

My first bit of advice is: DON’T DO IT.
There are girls who have stellar reviews and long standing reputations who are not making ends meat right now. Wanting to get into the escort business at this time is like wanting to get into the employment game after 911, there is little work. The economy is bad and its an election year which always causes work to cease.

If you still want to brave the bad economy and heavy competition here are some things to think about.

Get a professional website: Make sure you have a stats package so you can see where your referring hits are coming from. This will be really helpful, you can see where you advertising efforts ie dollars are paying off and converting to clicks to your site. You want to work smarter not harder.

Get professional pictures: Makes all the difference in the world. Classy pictures attract, classy clients. Skanky pictures … well you get the picture.

What will you do for money: Don’t let anyone talk you out of your comfort zone … ever.

Screen Clients: You need a way to be sure someone is who he says he is so you don’t get into trouble and you need to make sure someone isn’t scary to see. This is VERY important, always screen potentials. You need to become a JR private eye. You must be 100% sure of who you are seeing, if they don’t screen, then don’t see them. Never drop your guard no matter how broke you are. Don’t get greedy.

Watch the competition: http://www.eros-guide.com look at the ads for the girls in your area, see what they charge how they present themselves. Who do you want to be?

Treat it like a business: Be professional in your dealings with others. Investments of time and money are necessary to be successful, as with any business.

Keep your personal information PERSONAL: Be careful who you trust, its an isolating business, it can get tough, you often feel like you live in a bubble and will want to reach out to others in the subculture. Chose your friends wisely. This is a cut throat business and there are lots of people who are nuts attracted to it. You are who your friends are to some degree, someone else’s rep can spill over to you. Someone with your personal information can really hurt you. I was outed, its not fun, it can be devastating.

Don’t quit your day job: Living off the grid is difficult, you want to appear as normal as possible. Its tiring to be an escort and have a day job but in the long run you will have more to show for it.

Besides all that, i go back to my first bit of advice… I don’t recommend ANYONE do this.

It’s not easy money, you work HARD for it and it takes a toll on you physically and emotionally. It makes real interpersonal relationships hard… for most, impossible. You have to lie to the people you love and care about on a daily basis and that is a very hard thing to do, it gets much harder over time, living a double life is not easy. Its a risky business (emotionally, physically) if you insist on being an escort you need to work smart and minimize your risk. Not everyone is cut out to do this, you have to be able to compartmentalize your emotions, you have to be able to reject societies stigma, its not glamour and glitz, it has its moments but this is job and a job with real risks.

Escorts are risk managers, we have to be its how we survive.

14 thoughts on “So you wanna be a hooker?

  1. Sabina

    It seems like so many people who like sex think it’ll be easy money. They don’t call it a job for nothin’…

  2. Alexa

    All of it is excellent advice.

    There’s a story in the Atlanta Journal Constitution about a woman who went to Atlanta from Nashville to work as an escort and after three days gave it up (she was actually scammed by someone “helping” her). She just didn’t do her homework and know what she was getting into.

    Having said that, if you know what you’re doing and you treat it like the profession it is, you can have a lot of fun with it.

  3. collegehookerboy

    I wonder how much the worlds of male and female prostitution differ. Probably very little because in the end we deal with the same men.

    You reminded me, I need to get better pictures.

  4. H

    A very nice posts.

    It reminds me a lot of another blog I’m reading, “Being an escort”.

    Your advice is pretty similar to her (starting with the “DON’T DO IT”), and you have a similar writing style too.

    Thanks for this very interesting blog, I’ll follow it more often.

  5. bug

    Great post and good advice.

    I have been thinking a lot on the subject lately. The love of my life is an escort and we are very much in love. Unfortunately our situation is such that she has got to continue working.

    As time goes on and our love grows I find it more and more difficult to deal with her job. I do not know how much more I can deal with. I wish I could take her away from it all…

    I could go on, but what I want to say is that real and meaningful relationships are near impossible for an escort. That is reason enough not to get involved.

  6. Anonymous

    I have been in the business many years & the reason I am getting out is I have not met one gal who was actually happy doing this.

  7. AM

    I wouldn't recommend it to others either. The risks are very real, the money doesn't come as easy as the outside world likes to think, and the police are forever breathing down our necks, looking for any way possible to screw up our employment futures by branding us with solicitation and/or pandering charges.

    There are good things and bad things. Your list of things to consider is great, especially about screening clients. Screening is the best protection we have, though too few seem to take it seriously.

    All that glitters is not gold and it would be really cool if HBO and MTV ceased glorifying the sex industry, which only serves to drive in more public interest (complete with idiot rubberneckers) and up the competition. Sometimes I wonder if the greater culture won't adopt elements of our lifestyle in an attempt to make fantasy a reality. Dumb idea, IMO, but it seems the direction our society is bent on taking.

    We're burning out left and right. After a few years of playing this game, regardless of how sex-obsessed a person originally starts out as, this job changes one's relationship with sex and intimacy in a fundamental way. Not necessarily pushing a person to the opposite extreme but definitely dulling the sensations. I've come to severely crave spontaneity and light, playful cuddling. It's the simple luxuries like this that most take for granted that I've personally come to miss.

    Thanks for the post.