My life and experience as an escort also seems to find its way into my real life day to day world. For example yesterday. I had a meeting with a potential client about a freelance job. I had already spoken at length with this guy about his project and this was a simple chemistry check and i had to sign the non disclosure. He’s putting a team together and looking for the right mix. It was right up my alley, i was not just qualified but even over qualified though this project has potential to really skyrocket. I met with him over coffee to talk about what he was doing moving forward and how best what i do and how my skill set could fit in. Well that was the idea anyways.
What this meeting turned into was some entitled, self important, blow-hard talking about himself, repeating himself, not making clear points. This wasn’t a conversation, this guy wasn’t there to engage me and see if i was the right candidate to move his project forward and it reminded me of my escort life. This guy if he wasn’t a hobbyist sure was acting like one. In the beginning of the conversation i tried to interject with my skills bringing up previous projects i had worked on that would fit with his model. To no avail he was too busy name dropping and repeating himself to notice my presence. About 25 minutes in i gave up and went into escort mode, smiling, nodding, leaning in when he was speaking, acting interested and making him feel like he really had something special in this project. I as a prop there to service his needs. All this encounter needed was my tits on the table and an envelope stuffed with cash in my purse.
In retrospect i should have gotten up, thanked him for his time and been on my way about 15 minutes in when realized what was going on. But i didn’t. I don’t know why, maybe because my experience as an escort got in the way and i went into survival mode. Subconsciously maybe i didn’t think i had the right to walk away i was there so i had to see it though to the bitter end just like when youre in a none to stealler escort situation. compartmentalize, get though it, get out. The situation seemed all to familiar, only i wasn’t there to service him it was a business meeting and he wasn’t paying me for my time. I had every right to walk away and not feel guilty or bad about it or that he would trash me on a message board for my “unprofessional” behavior. But that didnt happen. I stayed, I saw it though until he dismissed me and declared the meeting over.
As i was driving home i thought about what had happened, how i so easily slipped into escort mode and didn’t assert myself, my skills, my abilities how i gave up in this meeting. I did myself a disservice yesterday i wont let that happen again.