||||Confessions Of A Message Board Hooker

As an adult content producer my work can and has been pirated, shared, traded and generally not paid for by people looking to get free stuff. Its par for the course and yes, it pisses me off. I’m a little guy not Warner Bros Records i don’t have their resources nor their cash flow and every dollar counts when it comes to making a living this way. I do my best to create quality content and as a result people like my work (you dirty perverts, i love you all) unfortunately there is an underbelly and they also love my work and love to rip me off to get it. They make up all kinds of excuses as to why they are entitled to steal from me..

Some misconceptions about selling adult content online.

1. Hypno-Dommes dont report their income and pay taxes

Yes we do! When selling content online you fill out tax ID information (which includes detailed identity information) and that information is used by the company’s processing your sales in their tax reporting.  I get W9s at the end of the year and trust me writing that check to uncle Sam at the end of the year hurts like a motherfucker but tax evasion is not an even an option when you have a paper trail for every… single… item you sell online. That’s worth repeating for the people who think adult content producers dont pay taxes or report their income. EVERY SINGLE SALE is documented. That’s how they got Capone and if they can get him you can be damn sure theyd get some piddly adult content maker.

2. No one would know about you if it wasn’t for file sharing

This is almost laughable. Its in fact the other way around one you’ve built a reputation and its solid then you start seeing your files up on sites being shared. I had been making content for 2 years before i had to start sending out notices and playing whack a mole with my work. But people love to take credit for your discovery when in fact you’ve been working in the business and making a living for years before you were brought to their attention.

3. I’m a greedy bitch

Yeah I’m a greedy bitch if by that you mean i want to get paid for working. This is my actual job just like you saying “would you like to super size that?” is YOUR job. You wouldn’t want to work for free and neither do i. I know it’s hard for some people to understand because they jerk off to what i make but this is my job. I do other things for fun and trust me making Mp3s about sucking cock, isn’t one of them. That my friends is a J..O..B…

Sending out notices to get files removed is part of the territory and i do it diligently. It does however take time away from making new content, which is how id rather spend my working time. It does in fact hurt business when my files get shared, that is a stone cold fact. When i have to send out another notice to get another file removed it truly ruins my day. It’s the part of being in this business i dislike the most, dealing with people who feel entitled to steal from me.

As  a creator of adult content I’m always looking for new platforms and ways to sell my content. When Gumroad was brought to my attention it perked up my ears and I delved in to it to see f it was compatible with what I was doing. I read over the FAQs and the TOS and there was no restriction on adult content. Gumroad fees are 5% of the sale price plus .25 per transaction. At the end of they month if you have over 10 bucks in your Gumroad account they Paypal you your earnings. In the non adult world thats not exactly a bargain, in the adult world its well worth the time to look into this more. When you sell your work though clips sites they often take a very hefty chunk of your cash but clip sites also also bring traffic, Gumroad doesn’t, with Gumroad you need to bring your own traffic to the table.

Step one was done. Thats always the most frustrating step because makers of adult content are excluded from so many places. (Yeah, I know we have cooties) Step two was to test it out. I began in  Aug 2012 uploading a handful of  MP3 files and placing the links to them on my MistressDemilo.com  website. I get a lot of people searching for hypnosis mp3s from that sites so I though it would be a good test. I made a couple of sales. I waited until the end of the month and the transfer of funds was made. It went smooth. I did this for a couple more months adding a blurb about Gumroad to my monthly newsletter to my customers and asked them for feedback if they purchased products though them, I also wrote blog posts about how you could get some files though Gumroad and I diligently used the Gumroad dashboard feature of tweeting my content to my close to 4k+ followers on twitter. It’s worth noting  that feature automatically adds an @gumroad to its tweets. More files were bought, end of the month more smooth transactions were made.

In Oct I decided to expand with Gumroad, I had tested them out and all went well time to do more with this new platform to sell on. I added the ability to buy though Gumroad to two more of my websites, both Sissysluthypnosis.com and Eroticfemdomhypnosis.com, I devised a marketing campaign around Gumroad, I made a few files exclusive to Gumroad and my sites for the month of October. As a result of this added time and effort my Gumroad sales went up about 400% maybe a little more.  I was pretty excited about the progress. I tweeted to and told other ladies who I know sell content about Gumroad encouraging them to check them out. I waited for my transfer of funds at the end of the month. It didn’t come.

I made sales on December 1st (2) but never got a notice that my money was transfered.  On December 2nd I couldn’t access my account, it would say “logging in” but it never connected. I had a bad feeling. My better half told me I was panicking to early, though hes very sensitive to sex worker issues, until you walk a mile in a sex workers shoes you cant know what its like to have that powerless feeling that arises when your gut tells you someone is disrespecting you or taking advantage because if what you do for a living. I tweeted at Gumroad that i couldn’t access my account.  In the afternoon when i still couldn’t access my account i investigated further, I found that Gumroad was up and running for other people, that other peoples items were still for sale on Gumroad and that links to my content was met with 404 errors. I also checked my public profile and though it was there there was no content listed available.

I sent in a email to support informing them of all this including the info that i hadn’t received any funds on the 1st. I was met with radio silence.

I waited 24 hours, still nothing. I sent in a second email this time I found the email address of the founder ( a 19 year old wunderkind of some sort the media tells me) Sahil Lavingia and sent him a note too just in case my gut as wrong and they were experiencing a bigger database or email issue. Hell it had been even suggested to me that maybe they had fired their IT or support person and were scrambling.

A little over an hour later I got a response. A two line email telling me my account had been suspended for “Illicit” content. No mention of the money they owed me, nothing addressing any of my questions just a curt yup, we deleted you. Let me break this down.

Illicit means Illegal, they were telling me they shut me down and from my perspective were going to keep my funds because my content was Illegal. Which of course its not. Its adult, its mature, its erotic but its not Illegal. I wrote Gumroad back a rather not nice email telling them  such asking them for my money and accusing them of stealing. I then assumed I would need to get a lawyer in involved. I re-read Gumroads TOS and they had changed as of Nov 19th. it looked to me a catch all for deleting accounts had been added “otherwise objectionable”  If your content was “otherwise objectionable” well that’s a pretty wide net. Translation “for any reason” including no reason at all or because you have red hair and gingers are scary. But sir i object!

This is why you don’t do business with 19 year olds. Who runs a business like this? Who thinks its okay to treat their customers like this. Is this how everyone is treated by Gumroad? No its not, they have good feedback, this is how Jenny DeMilo Sex worker was treated by Gumroad. I felt discriminated against, I felt powerless. Gumroad had my money and closed down my account, my inquires were met with silence and only after tracking down the founders email did I get any response at all and that was unacceptable in any business. Just because I’m a creator of erotica does not mean you are allowed to treat me any different then if my name was John Smith and I sold post it notes to the PTA. Business is business. Not for Gumroad though for them this is acceptable.

I then received an email from a customer who told me all the purchases he made of my content though Gumroad were suddenly refunded. Refunded with out my consent and not by any request from the customer.

What  the motherfucking hell is that! Who does that. What business school did these morons drop out of.  Who thinks they have the right to refund My money to My customers with out MY consent. My products were delivered, my customers happy but Gumroad though yanno they could give away my content for free. Gumroad had clearly forgotten their role in this arrangement.  Shady Shady Shady.  I started thinking that yep a law suit was definitely in Gumroads future. Because though I might just be a little guy, a small business and a sex worker, I am not going to allow you to steal my hard heard money from me. That is not an option.

Then the next Gumroad email comes though, this time obviously written by someone who had at least taken a class on customer service. it started with an apology which is customer service 101. It went on to tell me my funds would be transfered in 24 hours and that no they didnt think my content was illegal but that they couldn’t handle “some kinds” of adult material. That once an account had been “flagged” by their user base, it was gone. Well whoopdie fucking doo. My guess is their lawyer told them to pay the fuck up and that some idiot over there refunded my clients in a panic. They did the transfer in 24 hours and get this they even tossed in some extra cash as an oops we deleted your account with out notice and then were stupid about how to deal with you kinda bribe or something. Though it’s always nice to get a few extra free bucks…WTF. I wonder how that little item reads on their balance sheet.

So there ya have it, Gumroad is a great idea but its run by people who make terrible decisions, treat their customers like crap and have zero idea how to handle business. Oh as a side not they use Stripe for their platform. Stripe takes .30 a transaction and 2.9 on each sale so Gumroad is working on a pretty thin margin. Oh Stripe clearly states in their TOS no pornography. Gumroad neglected to incorporate Stripes TOS in their own. Another really bad business decision. Gumroad is run like a teenager who’s never had to think beyond himself. Impulsive, never thinking a situation though to its conclusion. Though i’m sad it all went down like this I had high hopes working with them and had invested a lot of time and effort to make something out of it.  I’m sure my next months sales would have increased more then the 400% the last months sales had, and I’m pissed I was treated so poorly, as a business person I would never do business with a company like this. They will limp along but I cant be the only person who has had such horrible dealing with Gumroad. Im just not that special. They will run themselves into the ground or lose their financing. Though it might be cute to invest some bucks into a 19 year old “wiz kid” who is basically just making Stripe easier to use for more money, I find it hard to imagine any VC giving more money over to a group of kids who haven’t the first fucking clue about how to treat a customer. Oh as of this post my Gumroad Profile  is still active.

There’s no getting away from it, people even supposed educated, informed people who write fancy books think it’s okay to insult someone based on what they do for a living. You don’t know what you’re talking about and cant possibly offer anything valid because you work for Time Warner Cable, or you are just a lowly waitress slinging hash, your blue collar life, your working poor life makes you inconsequential, your profession dictates your value and makes everything you say wrong. Especially of you work in the sex business, then you are nothing but a whore and you have nothing to offer. Yes, I know this sounds harsh but this is actually how many people think. Though they wouldn’t come right out and proudly announce you’re a prostitute therefore anything you have to say is wrong. Oh wait a Ph.D and author did just that in response to a book review.

You got that right she acted out spewed spittle and bile over a book review. Betsy Prioleau’s book Swoon was reviewed on Book Forum by Charlotte Shane, editor of Tits and Sass who has contributed to Salon and other “legitimate” publications. It wasn’t a favorable review. Betsy Prioleau thought the best way to answer said bad review was to belittle and shame the reviewer for her profession. Acting more like a high school mean girl than a scholar. Betsy Prioleau proceeded with her convoluted temper tantrum implying both the site that hosted the review and the reviewer lowbrow and Illiterate because you know, prostitutes cant read so how dare they review her book!

I find it hard to wrap my head around why someone would take to the comments section to personally attack a reviewer.  Not only is it a huge social media no no every dry cleaning business with a Yelp review has figured out but to demean, shame and belittle the reviewer in such a hostile way calling out the reviewers profession as a reason the review was not valid. It just makes Betsy Prioleau look pathetic. The review while not favorable wasn’t personal. No one talk about how Betsy Prioleau looks like a hag who shouldn’t be telling anyone secrets in romance and how her vag allegedly shriveled up years ago. No one pointed out that a doctorate in Philosophy does not mean you’re smart, it just means you couldn’t cut in in the world outside academia. You know where us illiterate prostitutes are. None of that was mentioned.. Oops I just did, silly me.  Oh well this isn’t a review of her book, this is a review of her behavior. Which was reprehensible, inexcusable and vile.

People often think and say that women working in the sex business should quit and get legitimate jobs. We hear that  over and over again and when one of us branches out for example Charlotte Shane’s telling review of what appears to be a rather trite boring book for a respected website, she’s shamed, we’re shamed. Think about that next time you tell one of us to quit and get a “real” job when we do, we get discounted for having worked in the sex business at all. Just like Betsy Prioleau did with her child like temper tantrum on Book Forum

Shame on you Betsy Prioleau, clearly an education doesn’t mean you’re in the least bit smart. I’d rather take Damone’s advice to Mark Rattner on the 5 point plan in how to woo chicks then read your fantasy driven drivel but what do I know I’m just a prostitute, it’s a miracle I can even read.

 

Voting is not just a right its a responsibility. Its also the patriotic thing to do. I know its a pain in the ass, especially if you are unlucky enough to live in Florida where the lines are ridiculous for early voting and the will be just as stupid long on election day. (thanks a lot Gov Rick “lerch” Scott) But its your duty, its the right thing to do AND as I did with the last presidential election it will get a free stuff from me Jenny DeMIlo. Yes, I’m doing it again this year! How it works is simple.

1. Go vote!

2. Email  me a photo of  you holding your  ” I have voted” sticker or ballot receipt (Jenny@goodtimejenny.com)

3. There is no 3 that’s it.

I will send out a free hypnosis MP3  to everyone who sends me proof that they braved the lines, cold and poll watchers to do their civic duty and vote. I don’t care who you vote for, I just care that you vote.You can obscure your face in your voting pic hell stick your “I have voted” sticker on your ass and send it to me if you want. I don’t care and yes  your “I voted early” sticker counts too! Be creative or be boring its up to you but make sure to let me know if I can post your photo cuz last time I got some awesome photos but forgot that part so only I got to see them!

You have until Nov the 7th 2012 at 12 noon EST to send in that pic and that evening I will send out the free hypnosis Mp3….So get out there and vote!

I don’t know about you, but I would never take medical advice from a lobbyist. I tend to take medical advice from medical professionals. This Syphilis scare in the adult porn world is such a giant mess its hard for even us with an interest in it to keep up with whats real, whats rumor and whats propaganda. It’s clear many involved have an agenda, from performers who fake tests trying to save face, to lobbyist groups looking to control performers health options, to big named porn companies in the midst of a huge power grab. Whats being lost in everything is sex workers and their health. Adult performers are once again being used as pawns in another porn valley power grab and mad dash to the bottom of decency. They are being extorted to get a medical shot with out advice of a doctor but at direction of a lobbying group. Get the shot or don’t work for 3 months, regardless of your health status, STI status or history. Yep, I said extortion.

Really that’s the answer the powers that be came up with? Get medically unnecessary treatment to combat something you don’t have? Kinda sounds to me like the FSC is taking lessons from Governor Bob McDonnell of VA who wants women to get a medically unnecessary ultrasound before an abortion to further his personal agenda… now don’t it.

I’m not even gong to presume I have all the facts on this clusterfuck of a story (even though I’ve been following it closely) Seems stories and facts are changing daily.  What I can tell you is this, get real advice about your health from real medical professionals. Do not put your health or safety in the hands of people who have an agenda, especially people who stand to benefit from you doing as you are told and following blindly with out asking questions because you are strapped for cash. I’ve written for years about how being desperate (or greedy) can alter your good decision making practices and how you should never let that get in the way of doing what is best for you. Don’t start now.

 

The Lovely Ashley

I’m always starting new projects, its something I do to keep life interesting. I’m always cooking up some new idea, sometimes I give these ideas away to people I think would make a lot out of them sometimes I horde them all to myself (I have been called a digital hoarder) Recently though a series of quips and events the advent of a new collaborative blog aimed at giving no nonsense advice to sex workers or those thinking about being sex workers came to fruition. Savannah Darling a hot momma I have been acquainted with for a few years now (wow time moves fast) called me her “Fairy Whore Mother”  on twitter when she needed a little reassurance in regards to a client negotiation. I was so tickled to be called this that I bought the domain. I really didn’t know what I was going to do with it (Digital hoarder!) but I did buy it. Soon after the lovely Lauren Kiley came to visit me here in the other side of the world (so nice to see my friends from CA) and we came up with how to put the Fairy Whore Mother domain to use. There’s a need for real advice from real sex workers. Add all the anonymous blogs popping up offering advice (much of it questionable) to sex workers and we really though we might be on to something. We fleshed out the basics over a couple of pitchers of margaritas and Fairy Whore Mother was born. Savannah agreed to be a part of it and Lauren headed off to fetish-con where she enlisted the help of Whitney Morgan…score!

Yes, I’ve often given my thoughts on sex work here in this blog and i will continue to do so  but now you can get other smart, savvy, amazing sex workers (real ones with cred) opinions on good ways to work, good ways to stay safe, good ways to increase business, good ways to stay sane in an often insane niche of the world. Bookmark it, read it, comment on it, link it, help me get the word out. I promise it will be entertaining and informative.. it might even be useful.

 

 

The rescue industry is trying to change trafficking laws again, this time in CA. There’s a very well detailed blog about prop 35 in CA on the Orange Juice Blog  which I read and commented on a while back and even if you’re not living in CA you might want to take a read and see how this very flawed legislation breaks down. I was born behind the Orange Curtain and only last year moved out of CA after living there my whole life so I still am very interested in the state and its politics but you don’t have to live in CA to be concerned. Legislation like this could come to a city and town near you. I was reading the other day about what looked like to me based on the facts presented in the article to be a driver, someone who drives escorts to their appointments and makes sure they get home safe, out in in Takoma park  being arrested for “human trafficking”    A Months long investigation over several counties and jurisdictions resulted in an arrest for human trafficking.  In CA currently if a driver gets busted its a chauffeur without a license ticket. Trafficking is being applied in all kinds of ways  people never expected and legislation is being written so that the new laws could easily be stretched and manipulated to cover all kinds of things besides actual real honest to good human trafficking. Yanno when you force someone into labor situations against their will. That’s what trafficking is and it actually happens in non sexual labor far more often but that doesn’t get the all the splashy headlines that the rescue industry uses to get more funding. Oh and if you don’t believe the rescue industry is an actual industry take a walk down to DuPont Circle in Washington DC and stand outside the Polaris Project’s headquarters. That’s some damn expensive real estate an they have the whole building. Yes, your anti trafficking dollars at work keeping their executives in pretty nice digs.

Being over broad, over reaching, disguising what really amounts to anti prostitution attitudes, ideals,  legislation and eventually arrests doesn’t help REAL victims of trafficking. it doesn’t make it harder to manipulate and force people into trafficking situations, it doesn’t provide services for those who are trafficked and it doesn’t punish people who pray and inflict damage on to other people by actually trafficking them. I personally believe it diminishes the real suffering of trafficked people by calling everyone involved int he sex business in all kinds of capacities traffickers or trafficked. Its too often used as just another tool to punish consenting adults who work in the sex business by choice.  It seems in some parts of the good ole’ USA Transporting consenting willing adults to and from a business appointment is now human trafficking. The word transport and traffic are one and the same and this kind of thing is only going to happen more and more.

Please do read the Orange Juice blogs break down of Prop 35 in CA its worth the time to read: http://www.orangejuiceblog.com/2012/07/i-despise-human-trafficking-but-i-oppose-the-badly-drafted-prop-35/

I’ve written about hooker meet and greets  before, I’m sure this wont be the last time I write about them but let me say this loud and clear… Escort meet and greets are not safe! As further proof how these functions have taken a dive in the safety arena (they took a dive in the class arena long ago)  is the latest from New York Magazine “Johns Night Out” Where a reporter gains access to an “exclusive” meet and greet he heard about on the largest hooker review website out there, you know the one that boasts a bizillion reviews of escorts. A public notice was posted about the upcoming event and it appears the reporter asked for an invite and got one.

If a reporter can gain access then so can law enforcement. Busting meet and greets is happening more often then ever before. Yes, there was a time when meet an greets were safer then they are today. I have been to them, hell I’ve even thrown a couple way back in the day but times have changed and people need to understand that the risk of attending a meet and greet has increased 10 fold. Escorting is a risky business, its not legal and these parties might have had a purpose once upon a time but now reporters are going to them and writing about how that hooker was making out with a client/potential client (gross) and how hookers and johns excused themselves and left to go to locally bought hotel rooms to conduct business. That’s exactly how some people in the Midwest just got arrested after attending a meet and greet sponsored by a local Midwest board.

This New York based meet and greet also cost money, according to the reporter 120 bucks a head with a count of about 75 men attending (ladies don’t pay at these events) Lets do the math, that comes to $9,000 but of course the host is only doing this out of some altruistic need to match make escorts and their potential clients not because he’s a hobbyist who’s once again trying very hard to get a piece of the financial action, no its out of the kindness of his heart.  He also seems to have no ability to screen potential guests as evidenced by the big, flashy, splashy article in New York Magazine. As escorts, screening is the very thin line that protects us from harm and arrest. Don’t give that task over to someone you don’t know, someone who doest have the skills to keep you safe, someone who’s got motives other then safety. Don’t hand that very important safety element over to some hobbyist dude who is looking to make a buck off your attendance and likely is trying to up his profile with the other hobbyists in the virtual locker room that is hooker message boards. Meet and greets are not safe places to be. Yeah I know the old line thats thrown about over and over “they will generate more business” Yeah really? Will they generate enough business to overcome the cost of a lawyer if you are arrested? Will they generate enough income to overcome the stigma of having a permanent arrest record for prostitution? Are they worth the family problems you might encounter if your name is all over the Internet as a known prostitute? Will they generate enough income to make up for being splashed across the nations magazines or newspapers? Yes, this reporter only used user-names and did not publish pictures with his article, will the next reporter do the same? Would TMZ be so restrained? Hardly.

As escorts we take great care to minimize our risk in a very risky business. The writing is on the wall for escort meet and greets and its scrawled in thick bold black letters.

 

I’ve given up trying to deal with third parties when it comes to hosting my video promo clips. YouTube thinks my tongue is “adult” and actively goes after any of the fetish girls posting non adult material which is compliant with their TOS.  I’ve been deleted off that site so many times I cant keep count. Vimeo and I got into it last year when they decided i couldn’t link to any of my websites (including this blog even though other users link to their self promotion blogs) and told me i couldn’t watermark my videos with anything that would direct any Vimeo viewer  to any of my sites where i then in turned linked to a clip site. Yes, Vimeo is trying to police several links out and also actively goes after any fetish people to try to harass them into not using their site buy giving them special rules that dont apply to other users of Vimeo. WTF! (I now watermark with my Twitter fr them, cuz they suck ass)

Fetish people are often targeted even though so much of our content is R-rated at best. My theory is because we confuse and upset people. Yes, me talking about my shoes isn’t adult content and there are video after video on these sites with women talking about shoes showing off shoes and the like but if I’m aware and make it known that i’m aware that my viewer gets a rock hard cock at me talking about my shoes then well…. DELETE HER! Even though my videos comply with their terms of service. It happens to us all and I’ve given up trying to use those sites for any kind of traffic generating device, they just delete me or make me spend hours justifying my content and fighting with them.

I’ve been trying to figure out how to host my own content on my own sites where I can embed a payer into the actual post. Its harder then you think. You can upload but embedding though a player well that’s hard. Right now i’m using a plug in just discovered but I had to convert my content to a .flv file and i’m pretty sure that means flash which means you iphone/ipad users cant see squat (sorry guys). So Its not a perfect solution but i’m not done trying to find a better one.

Until then… enjoy my Fluevogs…