Dont worry little lady

Next… Billboards!
Advertising is always tricky when you’re a sex worker. When I was escorting it was a monthly headache to figure out which sites to give my very hard earned cash to. Always trying to get the most bang for your advertising buck. Escort advertising is veryexpensive, it can be cost prohibitive and you have to be smart about it. No one wants to spend hundreds of dollars every month for no return and though no website can guarantee you business, they can give you an idea of their traffic stats to help you make an informed decision.

Now that most of my advertising is aimed at my fetish clip business, I’m always looking for new ways and places to branch out and put myself and my fetish product in front of new audiences. My advertising budget every month is small, I’m an indie clip and femdom hypnosis recording  producer who makes enough money to pay all my bills and my bills include food and board for my 4 year old ex racehorse.  I do alright though I wouldn’t say I’m rolling in it like some of my peers who specialize in financial domination, those ladies clean up! I started to look at new places to advertise last week and shot off a few emails to a few websites asking for information. Pricing structures, traffic stats, the typical info you would need to start making a decision. Choosing an untried place to buy ads is always stressful because there’s a good chance it will not pay off in any meaningful way. There is always trial and error involved.  I like to do a cost benefit analysis and lay out some expectations for myself  when making a decision on where to spend my ad cash. I come from the very real world of cutthroat advertising, but even if I didn’t have a background in advertising its business 101 and though I do have a bod for sin, I also have a brain for business.

Why is it websites insist on treating you like you are just some dumb girl who shouldn’t worry her pretty little head over things like potential impressions and traffic expectations? I find it more frequent with fetish directed websites than adult sites in general. Maybe its because adult in general is big  business in this world so if yo hit up an ad sales manager for a major adult website they are more then happy to ply you with loads of information to try to get you to chose them to give your money to. Not so much with fetish driven sites, getting info is like pulling teeth and it usually comes with a big helping of attitude. Its a pet peeve of mine, not because I’m a Dominatrix and I think the world should respect me for my existence but because I’m a business person who is trying to make smart decisions. Just like the dudes over a Goldman Sachs and the dudes in Atlanta trying to sell the world  a Coke© I’m no different just on a much smaller scale.  Maybe someday people will understand that just because it’s the sex business and I’m in it doesn’t mean I’m a dumb broad who is a mark to be taken advantage of. When that kind of attitude comes from a support service it reinforces that as long as we’ve come there still so much further to go. So I march on. Hearts and minds people … hearts and minds.

The Master’s Thesis

Listen to the rodent
I was contacted by a masters student at a very prominent British university. She let me know that she was writing her masters thesis on blogging and identities in sex work and asked if she could interview me. In the same letter she let me know she was using my blog (yes, this blog) in her research. I was intrigued. After looking her up to make sure she was legit I agreed to be interviewed. The interview was fun, I liked her right away. It was clear she had put some thought into her questions and research. She asked smart questions and made some rather interesting observations about me and my blogging and really whats more fun then talking  for an hour with a smart person about what I love… Writing.

Yes, I write in real life. Yes, my work is published, no I wont tell you how to find it. It got me to thinking about why I continue to blog. I started blogging because I had something to say. Working in the sex business, the community forums were (and still are) full of he man women haters and I got tired of being bullied by keyboard warriors online because I had an opinion. I continued to blog because I got great feedback from other women in the business who said  they were supportive of me because I often said what they wanted to say but were afraid to. I felt for those women I needed to keep up the good fight and I continued.

Yes, this is how i type too
But why do I continue to write in this blog? I dunno. I find I do it less and less. I dont wanna say the same things over an over. I guess I had hoped after a while that this blog would help me write about this business, my business in other ways, on other platforms and in a very small way i guess  it did. I was interviewed by legitimate papers, I was quoted in national magazines. I was also poo poo’ed by the very same peers who encouraged me to fight the good fight, for being too controversial. When a group of them started a collective blog about sex work it was suggested by one of the members that I be invited in, the others dismissed me out of hand because I was too divisive. Even though I have more professional writing experience then many of them, even though I was often praised for speaking out about sex work when others were  afraid to.  I was too controversial, too outspoken, too divisive in their eyes. Not because they thought I was a bad writer, or because I always forget to capitalize my lower case i. It felt personal and it didn’t feel very good at all.  It hurt my feelings and still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth when I see their url pop up unsolicited in my daily Internet browsing. I’ve tried to be supportive,  I’ve tried to be happy for their success. But really I’m just not,  I’m not happy for their success, I wanna be but I’m just not.

I’m not even sure why I’m writing this entry now. Sour grapes? Maybe. Having been an early outspoken sex worker blogger I took a lot of lumps for pulling the curtain back. I was stalked, harassed, hunted and bullied but I kept on fighting the good fight and speaking the truth as I saw it, My truth.  I blazed a bit of a trail and I’m pretty sure i will never be recognised for that, for my small part in the grand scheme how ultra cool it is now to be a sex work blogger.