Reaching Out – Eros Guide Update

Shoot that poison arrow...
I have written critically in the past about escort support services, Yanno those pesky mall advertising sites, photographers, designers etc., we all need to help our business grow and flourish. One site  i was concerned about and wrote freely about was The Eros Guide. Now i like the Eros guide i always have,  in the past when Eros was flourishing, i was as well. With the downturn in the economy (yes, escorts are not recession proof) it made us (me) as escorts find ways to work smarter not harder so everything had a turn under the harsh light of cost benefit analysis and the Eros Guide even though liked them personally got their turn. Lets face it they are expensive and when moneys tight you have to examine whats working and whats not and how much your paying for it. It wasn’t exactly glowing what i wrote and i was concerned that the cost of Eros was not paying off  and they had some business changes that i was unsure was the right direction to go, from a customer standpoint. My assessment, I’m sure wasn’t a surprise (many ladies had voice similar concerns)  What happened because of what i wrote…. now that what was a surprise.

Supplies!
The Eros Guide reached out to me and not in a small way. They were sincerely concerned with my issues (apparently they read my blog too!) and and even though i was pretty critical they didn’t take a “oh well fuck her, shes just one advertiser” attitude. They reached deep and though I’m sure (OK i KNOW) some at the company thought it would be futile to reach out to me. I believe what i heard was said when the suggestion to contact me was made was “her? She hates us!”  But they did it anyways. They listened to my concerns, they shared information with me on things they they had in the hopper that would they thought would help understand their position and things they were doing to make what they hoped would be improvements in both customer service and business in general. They made it very clear that cared about my business and took steps to secure i would continue to be an advertiser. It was pretty much the smartest customer service move I’ve seen a company employ in a long time. And that’s saying a lot, since out in the real world some of my job responsibilities often include reputation management. I recognize it when it’s done right and can appreciate it on more then just an “its all about me” level.

Typical business meeting
When the Eros guide folks came to town on other business i had the opportunity to have a sit down with them and explain some ins and outs of the business side of escorting from my perspective. They were eager to hear, my thoughts what worked for me, what didn’t work for me, how i thought things could be better for me as a customer.  They asked smart questions, were really nice and i liked them a lot. They weren’t just blowing smoke up an angry writers ass. They seemed to really care not just about how they were perceived in the industry ( though they do care)  but how they could best serve their advertisers. They understood the “i succeed, they succeed” business model. Now i still don’t always agree with how they do everything over there (It still really bothers me that they give away so many eyeballs with traffic exchange and the pop unders ugh!) However they gave me an opportunity to tell them that… to their faces.

Show it!
And there’s nothing that makes me happier then when I’m doing business with someone and they don’t treat me like a dumb whore but as a valuable resource who knows what I’m doing when it comes to running my business. The Eros guide did just that and not only addressed my concerns but they did it in a friendly professional, up front, no bullshit manner and i have to give credit where credit is due.

Now if only those jackasses at Time Warner and AT&T would pay attention..

Dear Abby…err Jenny

Dear Jenny....

It happened again, another email from another young hopeful who found my blog while doing her “research” on how to be an escort. I’m pretty sure this one didn’t actually read most of my blog however she did take the time to write me an email explaining to me how great she’d be at living the rock and roll lifestyle and how she wanted to get into escorting. She told me shed tried her hand at it already and also worked as a stripper and asked for advice. I had some time so i wrote her back instead of just sending her the link to blog post i already write about and for those wanting to get into the biz.

Her tone was a little manic and she asked for some real specifics about working Vegas and the Superbowl. So i didn’t hold back or sugar coat it. I’m sure she didn’t wanna hear that the “rock and roll” hooker lifestyle she dreams about that she’d be an ace at didn’t really exist the way she thought it did. That my advice for her in Vegas was don’t work the carpet if you didn’t know what you are doing, unless you want to get arrested for trespassing and  if you go to the Superbowl and want to work that you screen, screen and really screen since there are always campaigns to thwart all the headline grabbing “sex trafficking” that the anti-prostitution groups like to spew about and make up.  But i also told her if i couldn’t convince her not to get into the biz (as i do with everyone who begs me for help)  that id try to help answer her questions.

Her response…. ?

Advice that stings like a bee

Yeah she didn’t respond. Not a “fuck you bitch how dare you burst my made for TV bubble”, not a “err really its like that?” sure as fuck not a “thank you for taking the time to even respond to my idiot questions and obvious misinformed ass.” Okay whatever, i didn’t have to respond to her in the first place,  that ones on me but it got me thinking. I’m sooooo not going to help wanna be hookers out anymore. I will continue to give back to my community and my friends and friends of friends and do my part to keep everyone safe but I’m not going to go out of my way anymore for those not in the business. It’s turned out to be a serious waste of my already put upon time to try to knock some sense into girls who think “hooking is cool” It’s not, its job like any other job.

There was a story on Salon by a escort who’s blog i read and have read for a long time. The article was about the letters she gets from young hopefuls and how they envy her and it had an all too familiar ring to it. She in this article tried to examine a little deeper why shes an escort and mused at why people would envy her “life” though she is a rather amazing writer (the blog is beautifully written indeed) lots of commenters (sex worker commenters too)  brushed her off and questioned how a whore could be such a good writer and deemed her fake ( shes not fake.. not even close) It was hard to read some of those comments because like many outspoken sex workers who write i get those letters too. I suppose i will get accused of being “fake” soon enough.

It was brought to my attention the other day by a dancer friend of mine that there a wanna be sex worker blog out there supposedly written by a 14/15 year old (nope not linking it). Are you fucking kidding me! Now if you wanna experiment with sex when your 14 (and really they all do) then that’s between you, your partner, the laws in your state and your personal moral code. But if you wanna start blogging about how cool you think it is to be a whore at 14 before you’ve had the time to gain any kind of sexual identity, well then that shit is just fucked up.. way fucked up.

So put that together with the entitled leeches who write me asking for advice/help in escort land and  I’m not helping them anymore. For-fucking-get it.

Here’s some simple facts about being a hooker, if you think its all made for TV glamour and riches beyond your wildest adolescent dreams

1. It’s not a lot of money: Sure you will do better then working at Starbucks and you don’t need a degree to and will pay your bills and be comfortable but you wont get any medical bennies or 401k

2. The sex is not good nor fun: for the most part you’re there to service someone else’s needs. Not only that you’re there to service someone else’s needs and you are not sexually attracted to them, sometime you dont even like them. Cant deal with that, then dont be a ho.

3. You will have to lie to the people you love .. a LOT: keeping secrets can and often does destroy people

4. Once a whore, always a whore: dont believe me ask the NYC school teacher who talked about her brief PAST as a sex worker. She became national news.

Cold..Bitter..Black as night
So don’t ask me for advice and try to ply me with how great you’d be at sucking a dick for cash. I don’t care if you think you’ll be the worlds most amazing whore. Because i write about what its like to fuck for cash and issues pertaining to my community it doesn’t mean i want to help you become a part of it. As far as I’m concerned there’s too many dumb ass bitches in it already. Entitled leetchy whores with no concept beyond their own self serving needs who don’t think beyond themselves in any capacity. No self realization as to how they got on their current path or why they remain traveling on it. Making everything they see, touch and think all about them. Never giving back just looking for new avenues and people to exploit to further whatever personal greedy agenda they have. So don’t ask me how you can get into the business, how i can help you, advise you, teach you, yanno out of the kindness of my cold lack bitter heart. I won’t.