Jenny DeMilo

Personal responsibility

Bawk!

Personal responsibility is in the news a lot. From the banking crisis to the oil spill. The cry from the more thoughtful among us is, “where  is the personal responsibility.” Would the country gotten into the money crisis it is in the bankers personal assets were at risk as they off loaded our risk in their casino style dealings? Doubtful. What about BP and the gulf oil spill. When testifying before Congress the mantra was “its not my fault” 11 people died in that man made disaster, it would be nice of someone sacked up and said “we fucked up, were at fault” it will never happen.

I do my best to be responsible for my actions. I’m not perfect but it is a characteristic that’s important to me so i try and do the best i can. Though outspoken and vocal I’m not a line crosser. I don’t identify the line then cross it on purpose and intentionally. I don’t think I’m often an unintentional line crosser. I’ve have crossed lines and when i do i always feel bad and do what i can to try to make up for it.

I was recently criticized publicly on a hooker message board, on private boards and back channel for my rather colorful dissertation of a hobby meet and greet i attended. The “types” i directly shone a white hot spotlight on recognized the behaviors in my writing and took offence to it. It went like this “how dare that whore not think were awesome. Doesn’t she know how entitled we are” okay so that’s me paraphrasing but it went on and on like that. blah bah blah.

It wasnt this cool

Me saying that my experience was terrible and reporting back on the abhorrent behaviour i saw isn’t crossing the line. Now if i had called out the worst violators by name/handle/halitosis (since i happen know the names being the one watching the spectacle) then ridiculed and mocked them personally that would have been me crossing the line. Instead i wrote in general terms about my personal experience as a whole and how the whole thing made me throw up in my mouth a little. My little post was a firestorm of controversy! I got “blacklisted” buy some assclown organizing a party in my city, it was a party i didn’t request an invite to but he felt it necessary to let me know i was “blacklisted.” because i wrote something he didn’t like.  He later had to cancel said party for “unknown” reasons. Good thing i never asked for that invite or i might have been sad there was going to be no hobby party for me to attend and be disrespected at.

Another strange occurrence is I received invitations to other parties, mostly on the other coast. I think this was because they wanted to show me that not every where was like i had experienced. At least that’s my impression of the why. I don’t travel as much these days so its unlikely attending any of these would be possible. Interesting juxtaposition of the two positions though. Ban me from parties or show me your party is a good one.

Cat-Bag-Out

The organizer of the party I wrote about was naturally pissed at me for dissing his party but when i explained to him that i didn’t think he was responsible for other peoples behavior, he expressed concern for me and informed me that i was getting pretty heavily slammed on a escort reviewers only forum he was a member of. How sweet of him to be concerned that the old dogs were trying to tear me apart back channel. Well, it was sweet until i came to find out he was one of the slammers!  Yeah it only took a day before i was informed who was slamming whom and what exactly they were saying. So I’ve known all along, like i always do. Secrets on message boards? They never stay secrets for more then 2.5 seconds.  So i wonder what the other old dogs are going to think when they find out LA party planner is telling their tales out of school about private hooker board slammings (and not the fun kind!) oh well, i guess he should take some personal responsibility for that.

Being an escort i come in contact with a lot of line crosses and non responsibility takers. Maybe its entitlement issues, which is one of my pet peeves. Entitlement issues run strong in the hooker world. It’s the buying and selling of sex and the dehumanization of the person doing the selling by men who basically hate themselves and their life choices, that i think is a major contributing factor. (oh the dreaded hobbyist) It’s easier to take it out on the whores they pay to fuck then to be responsible for the choices they made that have lead them to be in a position to be fucking hookers in the first place. Oh there’s that personal responsibility thing again.

You gotta pay to play but you dont gotta be an ass

Now, i don’t think there is anything wrong with fucking hookers. I really don’t. I know the difference between love and sex. Friend and client. Lover and fuck buddy. I do think however that there is something wrong with thinking you’re entitled to be an asshole to hookers. I think there is something wrong if you think you’re special because you fuck hookers. It’s turned very adversarial, the “hobbyist” / provider relationship or interaction. Us against them seems to be the mantra from the hobbyist side of the fence. I feel resented, a lot. As if these men are forced to see hookers and somehow that’s my fault. They want to punish us, are jealous of us, resent us but… continue to use our services. I suppose me being outspoken, upfront and spilling the beans on the subculture to my small corner of the world doesn’t make men who aren’t self realized, self accepting of their choices to fuck hookers and be involved in a very detailed and time consuming way in the hooker subculture very comfortable.

Oh well… i can take personal responsibility for that.

6 thoughts on “Personal responsibility

  1. sarah

    It does not matter what you say on those message boards, whether you pander to the male populate on there or you stand your ground as a free thinking individual and say what you think regardless of the backlash/bitching etc. etc – you WILL attract someone who likes your style.

    It’s all a commercial really!

    You can do what I do, and that is to say what you think on your blog, and to hell with the rest of the hangers on, the whore hags and the sycophants.. the attention seeking whores, and those who patiently post any kind of drivel to raise their profiles… been there and done it – and thank God I don’t have to do it any more…lol

    In all honesty do we really need to see those kind of guys?.. and how many of your actual clientelle even know about the message forums? Most of mine do not!

    take care..

    Sarah x

  2. mdrider

    Control-freak Bullshit seems to be the central theme with these clowns.Coast to coast and all points in between,the woods are full of them. Weather at a M&G or a self help group these characters must inject themselves into every ones shit and manipulate according their own agenda whilst nurturing their ever growing narcissistic preoccupation with their own self importance.

    If they can’t control,they feel threatened and when threatened, they resort to slander in a vain attempt to try and maintain their delusional image of themselves and the scene and players that they believe should serve them….LOL!

    Keep shining a light on these vermin or we’ll be over run with them and their crap!

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  4. Taxi Driver

    You can rest assured that I will NEVER again invite you to a party I’m not having!
    Good day!

  5. Stepford Whore

    I love your insightful blog and have been an avid reader for quite some time! I have been an escort for around 7+ years and make a special point to avoid meeting any self-proclaimed hobbyist. Your observations always hit the nail about our subculture without crossing any line. Thank you for shining a spotlight that highlights the cut and clarity to separate the diamonds from the toerag hobbyist behavior.

  6. Willywonka4u

    From a political standpoint, I think the “take personal responsibility” line is usually just a way to put the blame on a single individual, usually a victim, instead of putting the blame where it rightfully belongs, usually an organized group of people, be it a business, company, church, government, or an organization.

    A lot of men see sex workers because they can’t get laid in their private lives. That’s just reality. Some men, after a number of years, grow bitter about this, and take it out on others, often stupidly on those very sex workers.

    I think it can be quite hellish to be a man. At all times 25% of my brain is being used to ponder sex. Except those times when I’m really thinking about it, when my entire brain is dedicated to it. It gets to be very exhausting. I often wished I had a switch where I could just turn it off for a few hours.

    All I can say is thank god for providers. They keep me sane.