Web Cam Party Extravaganza

I’ve been doing webcam duos on Niteflirt with my hot girlfriend Adora Cash. we’ve been having a lot of fun getting together and showing off on cam. Whats more fun then that… not much!

A few snaps for our last webcam party extravaganza. We do this a couple times a month so make sure to check the calendar on my website for the next time!

Adora and my ...boobs!
Smooches!
Gropes!

On being valued

I roll, you die

I’ve been a pretty loud voice in my small community of sex workers. I’ve helped a lot of new girls, tried to give back to my community, use the reference system to help keep everyone safe and been burned by people i had once considered friends. That’s kinda how it goes.  I invoke a strong response in people. I always have. I started bucking the system when i was 7 years old. In my progressive private school i helped develop the curriculum.. yes, at 7. When i entered college at the age of 15 nothing had changed, i still was bucking the system. It was often a hard earned battle but my critical thinking skills were polished to a fine sheen, if even in the process my ability to pick my battles was a skill i left to to learn another day. I didn’t learn to pick my battles until i was a driving force in my chosen filed of advertising and really i never learned that well. I fought for everything i believed in, until one executive who i worked under really took me under her wing in that regard and took the time to help me learn not to expend my energy on all different directions but to prioritize my battles.

Is that a lance in your pocket...

It’s a consent struggle i want to fight for everything. I have an over developed sense of justice and I’m fearless (well almost fearless) i dive in headfirst and a beat my opponents to a bloody pulp.  It’s just kinda what i do. over the last few years i have been trying to pick my battles more carefully and to direct my energy in other areas. I don’t have to jump every time I’m poked with a stick, though the instinct is to jump and jump high.

I recently was pretty critical of a sex worker related third party service and my criticism was noticed and noted and the company recently reached out to me. Turns out someone there understood i do have my thumb on the pulse and that i do have valuable information to share. It was really affirming to have a lengthy conversation with this executive and not be treated like a dumb whore but a valued resource. I’m still in process with them but will be writing in more detail upcoming about my dealings with them.

You can't hate other people, without hating yourself

In contrast there’s a group of hobbyists who wont stop talking about, treating me and acting like I’m some kinda dumb whore to be harassed, ridiculed and made fun of. If you don’t like what i write stop hitting my blog 10 times a day. Sack up and talk to me if you’re really all that concerned about my views on the pay for play subculture. You all know me in real life, don’t be pussies. If you dont wanna be reasonable with me, then go live your life and stay out of mine. If you don’t have a life … go get one!

It was a really interesting day yesterday to view the contrast of the two situations being valued and not being valued. Wanna take a guess which battle I’m going to prioritize?

I think its a pretty obvious choice.

I love the sound of breaking glass

…I do and when I’m upset music almost always is the thing that gets me though the rough spots. I was and still am upset and saddened by the death of Mark Linkous who is, was and always will be Sparklehorse. He got me though some dark times.

Today it was Nick Lowe who has long been an inspiration to me not only cuz of how he looked in a green suit in 1978 in his “as so it goes” video (meow)  but because his lyrics without being pretentious somehow speak to me. Couple that with the four and the floor straight ahead rock and roll a catchy hook  and well i always feel better.. because

I love the sound of breaking glass
Especially when I’m lonely
l need the noises of destruction

Eating our own

You're all pretty, now STFU

Over the last few months i have been involved in communications with a group of sex workers who are mostly not hookers but sex workers in other areas. Writers, advocates, cam girls, performers and strippers etc. Its been a real eye opener to see  how other groups of sex workers deal with sensitive issues and sex work related issues and really how the group dynamic is shaped when you put different groups of sex workers together in a glass and shake well.

Some of it is not pretty at all. In fact a lot of it isn’t pretty at all.

I have experienced a tremendous amount of infighting and projection. It’s interesting because i thought the hooker network was a catty bunch of fucked up bitches that could never agree on anything. WOW was i wrong. Us bitches have it all together compared to what i have recently experienced.

look at me, look at me look at me

No one can agree on anything and really no one has any kind of common goal. The disorganization is profound, the groups are too diverse and everyone’s position cannot be catered to but they all expect theirs to be, I suppose myself included. Plus crazy people are drawn to sex work. I’ve talked about that before. Really I’ve talked about crazy people are drawn to escorting. I have come to learn that is not exclusive to escorting but can often applied to sex work in general. Maybe its the lifestyle that attracts the nutso in us, maybe we were all dropped on our heads when babies. I don’t know the why, i only know  i can identify the observation.

There are a few bright shinny spots though, its not all crazy incarnate. I have to say i totally dig the strippers/dancers I’ve gotten to know. A kick ass rad bunch of women who i really enjoy talking to and getting to know. Some of the others…. eh not so much.

We eat our own, for breakfast lunch and dinner. Its no wonder nothing can ever be accomplished in the way of sex workers rights. It’s not 3 steps forward and two steps back, its all backwards steps, as far as i can tell.