Jenny DeMilo

Hooker 101

The basics - Dont be stupid

I get asked a lot by girls newly in the business or trying to get in the business how to get started. If they are not in yet, i always try to persuade them not to get into it. If they are already in the biz but just new, have turned a few tricks maybe worked for an agency who did everything for them and are trying to go indie i will sometimes try to help them. By that i mean point them in the right direction to find the info they need to make smart decisions and to stay away from bad info. There is a TON if bad info out there. You have to be smart, use your critical thinking skill and often your real world business skills will come into play in ways you  never expected. Unlike what some dumb ass men say this is not an easy job. Its not just laying down on a bed spreading your legs and walking  away with pots of gold. Its hard money to earn, it will be some of the hardest money you will earn.

I don't screen for socks with sandals

If you dont believe me go to your local mall and check out the hen-pecked dudes holding their wives purses and wearing socks with sandals, could you have sex with that guy? Not just spread your legs for him close your eyes and think of your happy place  but could you be intimate with him, be engaged with him, be present and make him feel special and like you were there just for him and really wanted to be there? Oh and it cant be a acting job, you have to find a way to make it real. Yeah like i said its not easy. However the money is fast and you can make a good solid living being a provider of sexual services.

Somethings to keep in mind if you are considering getting into the sex business. Which again i don’t recommend.

1. Being a hooker is the WORST way to ‘explore” your sexuality. The number one wrong reason to get involved in the pay for play world. Hookers don’t love sex so much we are compelled to sell it  (though may of us are wired hotter then the average bear) we love MONEY. This is a job, work, a business, where we use our emotional labor. If you want to explore your sexuality put an ad on the Internet and just be a slut like normal people who want to experience new sexual adventures. Being a hooker isn’t the justification you need, for whoreish behavior or a good place for you to attempt to confirm your fuck-ability.

2. Websites, photos, ad copy all matter. Make yours professional and reflective of your personality

3. Don’t be shady, keep your nose clean. Don’t do drugs, stay in school (you get the picture)

4. Never let any one use your computer. This is really important if you are a provider who is going the review route. Never let another girl use your computer, never share your password, and never, never never let a client use YOUR computer to write you a review.  Oh and don’t self review like a dumb ass, you will get caught.

4. Do network with other girls, but pick them carefully. You will be associated/linked with those girls you become friendly with. So chose smart so you don’t become collateral damage in some other girls drama.

5. Don’t let a “hobbyist” become your guidance counselor. Though some dudes have been around the block enough to know a thing or two they don’t know what its like to be a hooker, they only THINK they do because they pay for them. You will get most of your bad info from well meaning and not so well meaning hobbyists. Oh and they are always angling for a freebie. They are not helping you out of the kindness of their hearts, they are waiting for it to pay off.

acting dumb is okay, being dumb... Isnt!

Be smart, attack this like any other job. Learn all you can read all you can, use your critical thinking skills, put together a business model. If you insist on being a hooker then so be it but use your brain, trust your instincts, listen to your inner voice what the world doesn’t need any more of is another dumb Ho.

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7 thoughts on “Hooker 101

  1. Rachael Benedict

    Great article and advice 🙂 I would add to #5… that it depends on which hobbyist.

    Starting out, a few hobbyists really clued me into good information and backchannel communications. Saved me from making the mistake mentioned in #4 (the girl later had a dramatic meltdown- I was glad I didn’t trust the outward appearance of her having it together), and also helped me avoid certain hot areas, and other brand-newbie mistakes.

    I’ve also gotten very useful feedback on my website and pictures from hobbyists. Ofcourse it’s my business, but they are the target market (especially the high end), and if they’re willing to give me specific feedback, I will pick their brains as much as any good marketer and listen to constructive criticism as any business should 🙂

    Like associating and networking with other girls, it really depends on *which* hobbyists you take advice from.

    Obviously, if a guy is angling to get a freebie, or being pushy, or is the only guy telling you to do something, or is making things complicated and emotionally involved (or otherwise adding any “strings”), then don’t trust him… but, if you’re brand new, it’s helpful to have any information possible in order to make informed decisions.

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  3. Emily Jones

    I dunno, I’d definitely consider taking a hobbyist/punter’s advice on things like, what shape to get my vag hair waxed into, perhaps if I ran a poll on my website or somesuch amusing and fun-fun marketing ploy. And I definitely have put myself through the occasionally-nauseating experience many a time of surfing the hobbyist/punter forums like the uber silent sekrit ninja ho I am all in aid of gathering their opinions on escorts and what escorts should be doing and ‘what is a GFE’ and ‘is bumsex better than vagsex?’. This all takes a lot of assimilation and putting through the AnonymousInternetWhiner filter etc but can of course end up giving you an interesting picture of “what men want”.

    But I think Jenny is right to advise newbies to just stick to the safe side and accept any advice given directly to you from a client (via forum, real life conversation or maybe your own blog’s comments, nowhere is safe from the I Know More About Sucking Dick For Cash Than A Hooker Dude 😉 with a big smile and an even bigger pinch of salt. Even if they do have your best interests at heart, it’s not like they’d turn down a freebie, either. So by definition, they cannot possibly have entirely virtuous motives – unlike the other women in the business who are telling you evil facts and horribly real (often direly boring and not sexxxy or fun-fun) information for no other reason than that they don’t want you to get taken advantage of and possibly hurt badly.

    But plenty of women aren’t terribly virtuous either so yes, overall, it’s all about picking your sources with great wisdom and brainyness.

  4. Ethan

    Out of curiosity, have you ever considered starting your own agency? You just seem to have your head on straight and your shit SO together for this business, I can imagine a lot of newbies would benefit from your guidance and mentoring, both financially and safety-wise.

  5. Sina

    Good advice. Although I absolutely don’t agree with the first point. I’d say it’s the worst if one only wants money and doesn’t enjoy the sexual side. Then it could destroy one’s sexuality. Of course it’s a job, but many jobs are taken because of self-actualization. Why should it be different with sexwork?

  6. Timika Mckittrick

    Thanks for the write up this is really some great stuff here! Hooker 101 | Confessions Of A Message Board Hooker was a wonderful read.